


Forbidden

by AngelKurenai



Category: Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries, The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: AU, Crossover, F/M, Teacher-Student Relationship, age gap, alternative universe, no age mentioned really, not really underage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-25 21:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4977115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelKurenai/pseuds/AngelKurenai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since I was little my favorite stories were those of forbidden loves.<br/>Being with the one you loved would be all that mattered in a forbidden love story.<br/>But what about the hardships you encountered?<br/>What about the difficulties?<br/>What about the obstacles?<br/>What about the pain?<br/>It is wrong.<br/>But it feels oh-so right.<br/>So right... that it hurts.<br/>It hurts loving him. It hurts wanting to be with him.<br/>He's my teacher and I'm his student.<br/>He and I can't be together.<br/>We are forbidden to love each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

He is so handsome that no girl can resist him. 

He is so handsome that he can make any girl fall for him in the blink of an eye.

 _He_... is my teacher.

Dean Winchester.

His eyes are so mesmerizing that I can stare at them for hours. 

His hair look so soft that I could run my fingers through them  non-stop.

The freckles on his face seem like stars, countless, and no matter how much I try I am unable to count how many they are.

His lips so soft and rough, at the same time, that I can't help but want to feel them in every possible way.

His hands rough and at the same time soft and warm that whenever he touches me I feel sparks.

And then it's his voice. 

His voice rough and yet so sweet. When he says my name I can't help but want to hear him say it again and again. It feels like angels singing to my ears.

And when he holds me in his arms it feels...

It feels like everything is possible.

It feels like nothing can harm me.

It feels like I'm safe.

Like I'm where I belong.

It feels like I'm in heaven. 

Like he is my heaven.

But what if I am his hell?

Because I cannot love him. He cannot love me.

We are forbidden to love each other.

We are  **forbidden**.


	2. Chapter 1

~ Your P.O.V. ~  
  
 _Forbidden.  
  
Forbidden love stories.  
_  
Those were my favorite ones ever since I was a little girl. Ever since I could remember myself. Ever since I could remember my mother reading those stories to me. Stories of forbidden loves. Stories of a princess falling for an unprivileged but nice guy. Stories of an angel falling for a demon, though still good. Stories of a human girl falling for an angel boy or the other way round.   
  
Stories of _forbidden_  love.  
  
You may call me helplessly romantic but I just can't help it.  
  
Yes, those were and still are my favorite stories.  
  
Stories of two completely opposite people falling in love but not being able to be with each other. Of all the hardships they had to go through, all the obstacles and difficulties they had to overcome and all the pain they had to experience just so that they could be together.  
  
 _Together._  
  
In the end they would be together.  
  
That's how every story ended and that's what mattered. That's what mattered to me.  
  
When I thought of how my forbidden love story would be, _that_ was all that mattered. Being with the one I loved would be all that mattered even if our love was forbidden. We, in the end, would be together. We would overcome all the hardships and pain and be together.  
  
But what I had not thought of was how hard it would be to reach that end. To be able to be with the one I loved. To be able to overcome all the obstacles. All the pain.  
  
All the guilt.  
  
The guilt of pain. The pain I would cause to the ones that I loved and cared for.  
  
No, I hadn't thought of that.  
  
But then again, why should I?  
  
There are no princes, angels or demons. The is no such thing as forbidden love. I would not fall in love with someone that I could not be able to be with. I would not cause pain to the ones I love just because of my feelings for him and the fact that we could not be together. No, that would never happen to me, right?  
  
 _Wrong._  
  
But it felt oh-so right.  
  
So right that it hurt. It hurt to love him. It hurt wanting to be with him.  
  
And no matter how much I wanted it to stop, it didn't. No matter how much I denied it, it was still there.  
  
Someone said that you can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.  
  
And he was right.  
  
I'm (Y/f/n) (Y/l/n) and this is my forbidden love story.  
  
~~~  
  
"No (y/n), I'm telling you you're not going to skip yet another party!" my best friend, Caroline, exclaimed.  
  
We were walking towards our last class for the day, biology, and she wouldn't stop complaining about my not wanting to join her to one of Tyler's parties. And I'm saying 'partie **s** ' because there sure as hell will be more.  
  
"I told you Caroline, I don't wanna come to this one. Not in the mood, besides I have lots of homework" I tried to reason with her, in vain.  
  
"You're such a nerd, you know that?! Come on, when was the last party you went to?" she asked with a raised brow.  
  
"Last month" I stated matter-of-factly and she just rolled her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, well, not the point. I'm telling you that you need to come to this one! I mean it will be like the biggest party of the year. Everyone will be there, Elena, Bonnie, Jeremy, Matt. Hell even Stefan is coming! You can't miss it!" she said oh-so-dramatically.  
  
"I'm sorry Car, but I really can't. It's not that dad won't let me or anything like that but I just have to read for the biology test we have tomorrow. I really need to do well, and I haven't read anything so I need to study today!" I said, trying to convince her.  
  
"Biology test? What do you mean with biology test? Where did you hear that from?" she asked me wide-eyed.  
  
"Uhm our biology teacher said it last Friday" I said as-a-matter-of-factly.  
  
"Oh damn, I haven't studied at all!" she hit her head with her books.  
  
"Well you really should stay home today and do so" I said as we walked inside the almost empty classroom.  
  
"Obviously" she said with a sigh "I'll just tell Elena that I can't make it"  
  
We both took our seats and waited for more of the students to come.  
  
"Come on Car, don't be like that. I'm sure that Tyler is going to throw a big party again some time" I patted her back as she made a pout-y face.  
  
"Yeah, yeah" she said and it went silent, while we awaited for our teacher to come. More students having already come.  
  
But of course the silence didn't last long.  
  
"Oh! Oh!" Caroline suddenly exclaimed and I turned to look at her, frowning "Look, look!" she came closer to me and pointed at the door.  
  
"There is the hot-y!" she said pointing to someone passing. An it was none other than Mr. Winchester. Our history teacher.   
  
Mr. Sam Winchester. Brother to yet another teacher of ours, Mr Dean Winchester.  I knew both of them since I was a freshman, and because my father  was good friends with theirs. John Winchester, if I recall correctly, was his name. He and my father knew each other long before I was even born which meant that it was hard for my dad when John died. He managed to get over it, as much as possible that could be, and tried to live his life the best way he could, taking care of me.  
  
I had met Sam Winchester a couple years ago, when he had visited my father, and despite the age difference we got along really well. We sort of became friends and would since then share a small talk when meeting at school.   
  
"Oh come on Caroline, will you ever stop that? He's our teacher!" I said with a sigh.  
  
"Yeah, whatever. Who cares. I mean, seriously, look at him he's so, so perfect!" she all but squealed as she gazed lovingly at our teacher who was currently talking to the teacher we were about to have a lesson with, Mr. Dean Winchester.  
  
I remember meeting him all that time ago and it feels as if it was yesterday. Just a while after Sam (I've gotten used to calling him that way) had started working at our school as a history teacher, Mr. Dean came and started working at our school as a teacher as well.   
  
I still remember that day, when he had walked through the door of the classroom with that dark blue suit - clearly trying to impress his students on his first day - holding his two books at one hand. Trying to seem cool and relaxed but anyone could see how nervous he felt, just by looking him in the eyes. And  _I_  knew that because the very few first moments he had walked inside the class his eyes locked with mine. And oh-boy were his eyes beautiful.  
  
Heck, the man himself was the definition of beautiful. Handsome, so freaking handsome. Everything about him was perfect that I could not stop staring at him but of course I had to brake our gaze; feeling a blush rise on my cheeks. If Caroline could at that very moment read my thoughts then she would never stop bugging me. Not that it compared to the thoughts she had about Sam lately, it was just pure admiration. Nothing more.  
  
It would never be anything more. He is my teacher and way older than me. End of story.  
  
"Hey (y/n)? You there?" Caroline's voice broke my trail of thoughts.  
  
I turned to look at her; frowning "Are you ok?" she said in a low voice; tilting her head.  
  
"Uhm yeah yeah, why?" I asked.  
  
"Eh well..." she trailed off making a sign towards the teacher's desk which was currently occupied by a frowning Mr. Winchester.  
  
He was looking at me, obviously expecting an answer from me "Sorry Sir" I said reluctantly and he hesitantly nodded; continuing reading the names of each student.  
  
I sank lower on my seat. I just opened my notebook writing down whatever I thought was important as Mr. Winchester kept on his lesson, occasionally glancing at me. And every time I avoided his eyes.  
  
Luckily the lesson ended quickly and I grabbed my things trying to get out of class as fast as possible. I don't know why, I just wanted to avoid him.  
  
I wasn't in the mood for talking about what was troubling me, because I knew for sure that he would ask me what was wrong with me. Being son of John, Dean was friends with my father, just like Sam, and sort of like part of the family. However I didn't really feel comfortable talking with him about anything that wasn't related to school, meaning that I didn't feel comfortable talking with him in a casual way like I did with Sam.  
  
I 'd gotten out of the school and made my way to my house thinking of all the times he tried talking to me about something other than school and homework, whether it being about dad or me, and I gave a short reply and left.  
  
A voice was heard behind me.  
  
"(Y/n)!"   
  
I turned to look at the person calling me.  
  
It was Mr. Winchester.  
  
I stood on my place, waiting for him to approach me.  
  
"Hey, (y/n). You left before I could talk to you. I saw you at class today and you seemed kind of distracted. Are you alright? Is something wrong?" he asked as he came by my side and we continued walking.  
  
"Uhm no, no Mr. Winchester. I'm fine. I just... I just feel a little bit tired that's all. I should be better by tomorrow" I said giving him a tight smile and he slowly nodded.  
  
"Ok, well you should rest more" he said in a low voice and I just looked down at my feet as we both kept walking.  
  
I felt bad. He was just being worried and wanted to know if I was alright while I just acted so... formal. I acted as if he was just a stranger while he was trying to be nice.  
  
I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me at it "Alright then, (y/n). I'll see you tomorrow at school" he said.  
  
I looked up at him and then around me when my eyes landed on my house, I hadn't even realized when we reached my place.  
  
"Goodbye Mr. Winchester. I'll see you tomorrow" I gave him a small smile, that I'm sure looked forced, and he just nodded.  
  
I turned and walked towards the door. Opening it I threw my keys at a nearby table and after taking my shoes off I walked up the stairs to my room, not bothering to check if my dad was at home. I already knew that he would be at church this time of the day.  
  
Making my way into my room I threw my bag onto my bed and lied there. Looking out of the window which was opposite the door and next to my bed.  
  
I looked out, at the little bit of sky that I could see from where I laid and to the window opposite mine. A window of the house of my neighbor. A window of the bedroom of my neighbor. A window from where _I could see_  the bedroom of my neighbor...  
  
... Dean Winchester.


	3. Chapter 2

~ Third Person's P.O.V. ~  
  
After Dean said goodbye to you, he made his way to his house. Right next to yours.  
  
You 've been neighbors ever since he moved in Mystic Falls, after his father's death. He needed a change of scenery and somewhere to start from the scratch and Mystic Falls was the best place to do so without the need to forget everything. He didn't want to forget his father, his family, so moving in next to the house of his father's long-time friend was a good idea. Of course he didn't live with his brother, Sam had preferred to live at a house near the house of some old friends, the Salvatore brothers.   
  
Dean took the keys out of his bag and unlocked the door. Walking in he threw them at a small table by the door and made his way to his desk. Throwing his bag at the side of his desk he sat at his chair.  
  
Closing his eyes for a moment he thought of all the work he had to do. Check some essays, papers, tests, prepare the ones for the following day, and apart from all the school work he had to make dinner, clean and tide the house.  
  
Which of course he did and after hours of chores and school-work he found himself laying on the couch breathing heavily and not being able to move an inch.   
  
"Talking about tired" he murmured to himself.  
  
He laid there for a while more before he groaned and slowly he got up making his way upstairs to his room.  
  
He reached his bedroom and once opening the door he looked straight ahead facing the window of his bedroom that was exactly opposite the door. He looked throw the open window, from where he stood, and could now see... you.  
  
Through his open window and your open window he could see you sitting on the chair of your desk, back turned to him, a small light turned on to illuminate the whole room and give you the ability to read. He looked as you sighed in frustration and closed a book just to open another, and resting your head on the palm of your hand you started reading it.  
  
 _Probably for the test they are going to have tomorrow on my lesson_  he thought.  
  
He shook his head, along with the guilt of being the reason that you staid up until late at night just to study. For  _his_  lesson.  
  
Unbuttoning his shirt he made his way to the table next to the window to leave his watch and after that turned to walk into the shower. He definitely needed a shower after such a long and tiring day.  
  
~Time skip [coming to you]~  
  
You let out a final sigh and closed your biology book having finally finished.   
  
 _About time_  you murmured and after rubbing your eyes to get the sleep out of them you pushed your chair back and got up stretching.  
  
You put the books on your bag and turned to make your way to your bed, not really having energy to even change. All you wanted was to get a good night's sleep and-  
  
"Oh dear..." you said, your voice just above a whisper at the sight in front of you.  
  
Looking through your open window you could see that your neighbor - your teacher, Dean Winchester, was at his bedroom but not just that. He was not wearing a shirt, or anything for that matter, only a towel wrapped around his waist but other than that he was not wearing anything and oh boy was that a sight.  
  
You stood there watching him dry his hair with another towel, luckily big enough so that it covered his eyes and he could not see you stare, and after a few minutes he stopped and leaned against the door, towel still on his head, covering his eyes (which luckily were closed) a little bit. His hands hung by his sides as he stood against the door breathing heavily. You watched as steam still came of him and drops of water run down from his jaw, to his jawline and then his neck and then his chest, his abdomen and then-  
  
"Woah woah no (y/n)! No! Don't go there" you mumbled to yourself though you were still unable to tear your eyes from him and his damn-gorgeous body. Swallowing hard you licked your lips trying to make them moist. They felt dry, just like your throat. And you knew what was the cause of it but you couldn't bring yourself to look away, away from those arms, that torso, that body in general. It was so... perfect. With the whole meaning of the word, and even that tattoo fit so perfectly that you were mesmerized, to say the least.  
  
You stood there, just looking and not moving, and it felt like forever but suddenly he moved and went to grab the towel from his head, opening his eyes, and so you suddenly turned and looked down at your desk and few books that were left there, praying that he wouldn't  notice you.  
  
You felt eyes on your back but after a while you felt as if he stopped and went to get dressed. You let out a sigh and kept looking down, trying to calm your beating heart, you took a few more breaths in. You felt as if not only your cheeks but your whole boy was burning up, your throat and lips still dry.  
  
"And to think that I wanted to go immediately to bed" you mumbled to yourself after deciding that a shower was  _much_  needed.  
  
You shook your head and after running a hand down your face you made a quarter turn and without daring to even so glance at the window, thinking that you might see something more than you already had, your took off your shirt and threw it somewhere before removing your jeans too, being left in only your underwear.  
  
After throwing your jeans on a chair you walked straight ahead towards the bathroom, without looking at the window's direction even in the least bit. The images you had from earlier would be enough for more time than you would think of. You just hoped that the shower would help. Even in the least bit.  
  
~ Time skip ~   
  
And it did. Fortunately for you, you managed to relax again and not really think of what you saw earlier, although the images would keep coming back, you tried to occupy your mind with something else.  
  
After drying yourself with a towel you changed into your pjs and made your way out of the bathroom to your bed. This time you dared to look out of the window and saw that Dean's window was closed so you shut yours too. You laid down on your bed and within seconds you found yourself drifting into sleep.  
  
But then a knock on the door made you wake up from your sleep.  
  
Another knock.  
  
You slowly opened your eyes rubbing the sleep out of them after turning the light on. For a few minutes nothing could be heard, nothing but silence. It was so quiet that you thought you must have misheard but then there it was again. Another knock on the door.  
  
"Come on (y/n), open up!" you heard a voice say in a whisper-y tone.  
  
Who could it be? Who would come at such a time, midnight - you glanced at the clock beside your bed. It couldn't be your father because it certainly didn't sound like him. And you would have said Caroline or maybe Elena or Bonnie but then again the voice you heard was far from being that of Caroline's, Elena's or Bonnie's. Maybe it was Tyler or Matt having come inside the house through the back door (they knew where you left the key when you locked it) trying to drag you to go to Tyler's party (they had done it before).  
  
 _Yeah probably one of them_  you thought and so you got up from bed and made your way to the door.  
  
But when you opened it, well, let's just say there's no way you could have guessed who it was.  
  
You stood there almost shocked, but certainly surprised, looking at the insanely green eyes of your insanely handsome teacher. Mr. Dean Winchester.  
  
"M-Mr Winchester? Wh-what are you doing here?" you asked, eyes almost wide, sleep completely gone.  
  
"I came-" he said and paused walking inside, making you back away, and closing the door behind him "- to see you" he finished.  
  
"S-see me?" you asked once again. And boy, were you blushing. But you really couldn't help it. He was so close to you that you could feel the heat radiate off him, getting closer with every second, and looking him in those forest-green eyes that seemed so perfect, was totally going to make you blush. Not to mention how soft his slightly tanned skin seemed to feel when lit up by the orange-y light on your nightstand and then the images from a few hours ago started coming back, making you remember his oh-so-perfect body and arms and think of how it would feel if-  
  
"Yes" his voice broke your trail of thoughts "You really worried me today, you know" he said in a soft voice, his eyes full of worry and his brows slightly frowned.  
  
And then he did something you certainly did not expect. He brought one hands up to your flushed cheek and cupped it. Brushing it with his thumb.  
  
Your eyes widened at the sudden display of affection and you took a few steps back.  
  
"Mr. Winchester h-how did-" you gulped and then took a breath in "How did you get in?"  
  
"Your father has showed me where he leaves the key of the back door, that's how I got in" he replied as if it was the most simple thing.  
  
"Al-alright but I-I still don't know what- what do you really want here Mr. Winchester?" damn him and his perfectness that made you stutter.  
  
"Isn't it obvious?" he asked tilting his head a little bit, raising his brows slightly as well as giving you a small, almost invisible, smile.  
  
You frowned slightly and bit your lip. You didn't really want to hear what answer he had to give you. Because if he did, and if it was the answer you thought it would be, then, well, it would be even harder to contain yourself.  
  
He gave a low chuckle, shaking his head and then look you in the eyes with a soft smile on his lips "I thought I'd made myself pretty obvious to what I want..." he said and you staid silent, waiting for him to finish.  
  
"You. (Y/n), I want you" he finished.


	4. Chapter 3

"You. (Y/n) I want  _you_ " he finished.  
  
"I-I don't understand Mr Winchester. Wh-what do you-" you started but he cut you off.  
  
"Again with those damn formalities" he let out an exasperated sigh, shaking slightly his head "Why do you always call me that, especially now. We're not at school anymore, (y/n). Please call me Dean." he said with a small smile and took a step ahead and you backed away once again.  
  
A feeling of sadness flashed through his eyes and you immediately regretted your  actions. You opened your mouth to speak but he beat you at it.  
  
"Why are trying to push me away? You call me by my last name all the time, you avoid me when I try to make a conversation outside school and act formal all the time when I'm around, and it feels as if I mean nothing to you. And even earlier today... or now that I want to know if you're alright you try to push me away. Why?" he said and you had never seen him look so hurt or vulnerable.  
  
"I-" you took in a deep breath "I'm sorry... Dean. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to" you saw a smile appear on his lips.  
  
He shook his head and took a step closer to you "No.  _I_  am sorry, (y/n)" he smiled and took another step closer to you and this time you didn't back away- fact that made him smile even more "I just really wanted to see you, see that you are alright"  and he took another step closer, no more room left between the two of you "You really got me worried today, you know" he smiled, bringing his right hand up to your cheek.  
  
Your eyes widened slightly and you opened your mouth to speak when you saw him leaning in a little bit "Mr. Winchester what are you-" you started but he cut you off.  
  
"It's Dean" he gave a low chuckle and continued "Don't worry (y/n) you'll learn to say it over the next few hours" he leaned in, your faces only inches apart "Or moan it, whatever suits you" he finished and you had no time to react as he closed the remaining space between you by crushing his lips to yours.  
  
Your eyes widened at first but then you started to melt into the kiss which, although at first was somewhat rough, turned into sweet, slow and passionate.  
  
You were starting to give in more but then it hit you like a tone of bricks. You were kissing a way-older guy, who was your teacher and close friends with your father who, by the way, was the town's priest whom everybody knew. And since Mystic Falls was a small town and everybody knew everyone it meant that they knew you, too, as well as Dean.  
  
Your eyes widened in realization and with all your will you brought your hands up and pushed him away.  
  
"What.." Dean said breathlessly looking at you with a hurt expression.  
  
You run a hand through your hair, looking at him and trying your best to contain yourself from grabbing him and kissing him again. Something which was really hard just by looking at his lips that from the kissing seemed more full.  
  
You took in a deep and shaky breath , and after licking your lips you spoke "We can't." you said and he looked at you frowning.  
  
"You- you're my teacher, way older teacher and I'm-" you started speaking again but he stopped you by putting a hand to your lips "Don't. Don't say more" he got closer, once again only inches apart.  
  
"But-" you started protesting only to be cut off once again.  
  
"No 'but's (y/n). I may be your teacher but that doesn't mean anything. We're not at school anymore, so you don't need to worry. Nobody will know" he ended up whispering, his face really close to yours.  
  
"But we can't" you whispered too, voice barely audible.  
  
"Yes, yes we can" he said and brought his lips to yours to give you a small peck, lips barely brushing.  
  
"Besides, don't you want me?" he asked when he pulled away, voice in the same tone.  
  
He gave you no chance to respond "Because I recall you staring at me, half-naked, when I came out of the bathroom just a few hours ago." he said and upon seeing your eyes widen he smirked and continued "Yes, I  _did_ realize that you were staring, when I _supposedly_  wasn't looking. It's ok, baby girl. It's ok if you want to feel it, too" he took your hand in his and put it over his heart "It's ok, because I want to feel your too, baby" he run hand up your arm, to your neck, jawline and rested it on your flushed cheek.  
  
"I want to feel your body flushed to mine, sweetheart. I want to be able to run my hands up and down your body. I want to feel yours around mine and I want to feel your lips on mine, baby. I wanted to feel them everywhere. And I bet... so do you, hm?" he asked resting his forehead against yours, putting his other hand on your waist.  
  
You looked from his lips to his eyes and gave him a very small and reluctant nod. He smiled fondly and after mumbling a "Good" he leaned in and brought his lips to yours.  
  
The kiss soon from sweet and hesitant turned into hectic, passionate and needy. You brought your hands to Dean's neck to pull him closer, bodies flushed and yours pressed to the wall next to your bed and his hands on your waist, gripping at it, trying desperately to bring you closer to him, if possible.  
  
"Dean" you moaned his name and he took the advantage to shove his tongue, both his and yours now fighting for dominance. And he would have won if it wasn't for your both pulling away. You to take air and him to remove his shirt.You took a few seconds to admire his well-built body, running your hand up from his chest down to his abdomen till the waistband of his gray sweatpants.  
  
He took in a sharp breath when your hand went a little lower and he grabbed you by your waist, pushing you hard to the wall behind you. This made you immediately look up at him and within seconds he was back at kissing you just as roughly as before.  
  
And just the moment you started feeling  your knees give away he grabbed them and brought them up around his waist, your back still pressed to the wall and him kissing you like there was no tomorrow, one of your hands at the back of his neck the other gripping  at his shoulder.  
  
And it wasn't after a while that you felt yourself not pressed to the wall anymore but you were being carried away somewhere else. Suddenly you felt Dean drop you somewhere and you opened your eyes to see that you were laying on your bed, Dean right above you.   
  
He quickly removed your shirt and positioned himself on top of you, between your legs, which went around his waist. He looked at you for a few seconds before he came down and-  
  
\- and you  **woke up**  with a startle.  
  
 _Wait what?_  
  
You looked around you, trying to understand  what was going on.   
  
There was no Dean, the light was off, you were fully dressed and perfectly fine (well if we exclude the fact that you were somehow sweated).  
  
"It was... just  **a dream** " you mumbled to yourself, putting a hand on your head.  
  
 _Just a dream..._


	5. Chapter 4

~Time skip to next morning at school~  
  
"You. have got. to be. kidding me!" Sam looked at his brother, eyes wide and mouth agape. Unable to believe what his brother was telling him.  
  
"No, Sam. I'm not. Can you just keep it low, will ya please?!" Dean hissed at his brother as they made their way to school.  
  
It was one of the rare occasions that Sam accompanied his brother on the way to work and Dean couldn't be more thankful for that because he definitely needed to talk to someone about last night.  
  
"So let me get this straight." Sam started and Dean sighed "You had a... wet dream. With (y/n)" Sam finished.  
  
"Yeah,  well, sort of. We didn't, you know, get to the 'business', just make out... Really heavy make out. Really really heavy make out. Without any shirts"  Dean explained and Sam made a face.  
  
"Yeah, ok. I get it, thanks for the horrible images by the way" Sam said.  
  
"Hey, it was not my fault!" Dean complained loudly.  
  
"Yeah, that  _you_  had a wet dream with (y/n)" Sam rolled his eyes.  
  
"I told you-" Dean started but then remembered to lower his voice "I told you, Sam, it wasn't a wet dream, ok?! Just-" he continued but Sam cut him off.  
  
"Just a really heavy make out session with (y/n)" Sam said and shuddered at the mere thought.  
  
"Yeah" Dean cleared his throat "Probably because I saw her... you know"  
  
"In only her underwear, that very same night, yeah." Sam finished his brother's sentence and he nodded.  
  
"(Y/n)" Sam said and looked at his brother's direction.  
  
"Yes (y/n)" Dean said looking down and thinking.  
  
"Your neighbor (y/n)" Sam said once again.  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Kieran's daughter, (y/n)"  
  
"Yes Sam"  
  
"Your student (y/n)"  
  
"Yes Sam, her!" Dean shouted and then looked down, biting his lip.  
  
"Sorry" Sam said.  
  
"No Sam. I'm sorry. Just... since last night I kind of am on the edge and really don't know what to do... or feel" Dean apologized.  
  
"It's ok. Just... I wanted to know when was it?" Sam asked.  
  
"What was what?" Dean frowned.  
  
"When was it that you started having feelings for her?"  
  
"Started having feelings for her? What are you even talking about Sam?!" Dean looked at his brother almost wide-eyed.  
  
"Your feelings about (y/n), Dean. That dream, like most other dreams in general, showed you an aspect of yourself that you did not know it existed. In this case, it's the feelings you have for (y/n) but, obviously, have no idea about." Sam explained as if it was the most simple thing.  
  
"Cut your nerdy crap Sam, I do not have feelings for (y/n)! I was just worried yesterday because I care for her well-being and, that, just because I care about her." Dean protested.  
  
"And I don't mean in that way!" he quickly added.  
  
"Yeah, what you describe as 'care' I say is way more, you just haven't realized it yet." Sam tried to reason with him.  
  
"Yeah, whatever you say Sammy" Dean mumbled.  
  
"Come on Dean, I can see that you have realized you have feelings for her, just admit it already!" Sam let out an exasperated sigh and Dean letting out a sigh, stopped and turned to look at his brother who did the same.  
  
"Listen Sammy, I'm just gonna say it to you once again because you obviously don't get it. I do not have feelings for (y/n). She's a lot younger than me, not to mention that I'm her teacher. So, no, I don't have any feelings for her." he said and started walking again, Sam staying behind for a while.  
  
"I can't" he mumbled and after a while Sam came to join him.  
  
They reached the school and entered. Walking own the hallway and making their way to their office Sam caught a glimpse of you next to your locker and a plan formed in his mind. He glanced at his brother who was looking down (obviously he hadn't noticed you) and so Sam decided to... have some fun.  
  
"(Y/n)!" he suddenly exclaimed, making both you and Dean turn to look at him, almost locking eyes with each other.  
  
"Always the morning type, huh?" he asked you with a chuckle as he approached you, with Dean hesitantly following him.  
  
"Oh, hey Sam. Heh yeah, sort of" you gave him a sheepish smile and Sam just grinned widely.  
  
"Good-morning Mr. Winchester" you said as Dean approached the two of you, not really looking him in the eyes. Not after last night's dream.  
  
"Good-morning (y/n)" he  said after clearing his, not being able to make eye contact either.  
  
"So (y/n) did you get a good night's sleep? Because my brother over here didn't" Sam said chuckling and Dean's eyes widened.  
  
"Uhm yeah, yeah" you said trying to seem convincing.  
  
"Uhm Sam, I'm going to the office, you coming?" Dean asked, desperately wanting to prevent Sam from saying anything more.  
  
"Nah, I'll stay here with (Nickname), you go ahead." Sam grinned, putting an arm around your shoulders as you giggled.   
  
Dean tried to withhold a growl and after mumbling an "Ok" he turned and made his way to their office, which wasn't that far away, and from there he had a clear view of you and Sam.  
  
And he waited. Dean waited for Sam to return, all the while watching you and him interact in a rather intimate (according to him) way which Dean didn't like even in the least bit. He watched as you laughed at something that Sam said and could swear he saw red when you touched Sam's arm, not to mention when Sam gave you a kiss on the cheek before turning and walking to the office where Dean awaited (literally) fuming.  
  
And just as Sam closed the door Dean didn't wait even e second and spoke "What the hell?!" he barked.  
  
"What do you mean with that?" Sam asked once he closed he door, as if he had no clue.  
  
"What do I mean with that?! I'll tell you what I mean with that! I mean that you can't  control yourself for even a fucking minute!" Dean shouted.  
  
"I still don't understand what you mean with that Dean" Sam said innocently.  
  
"Oh so you don't now. Really Sam, really? The moment you walk into the school and see her, you start hitting on her and being all over her, laughing and touching and- and kissing her! You kissed her on the cheek! What the hell man?! Even though you know how I feel about her, even though you know that I -" Dean started rambling but immediately stopped when he realized  what he'd said and as soon as he saw Sam's Cheshire cat's smile at hearing his confession he got it.  
  
He narrowed his eyes and pointing a finger at Sam he spoke "You- You sneaky bastard!" Dean said and Sam merely grinned.  
  
"You're very welcome!" Sam said, the smile never leaving his face.  
  
"I hate you" Dean growled at him.  
  
"Yeah, I know. I love you too, big bro!" Sam gave him a cheeky smile and Dean just growled more, rolling his eyes in the meanwhile.  
  
"But now let's talk about something more important" Sam said, suddenly getting serious and so did Dean, who let out a sigh, knowing very well were this was going and he could not avoid this conversation.  
  
"What are you going to do with  _her_?" Sam asked and Dean pursed his lips, he really didn't know what to say.  
  
"And you know, by  _her_ , I don't mean (y/n)" Sam finished, pointing to the gold ring on Dean's finger.  
  
"I don't know man, I don't know" Dean sighed finding it hard to explain the situation and what he was thinking of doing.  
  
And oh boy, was it hard.  
  
Because certainly, falling in love with a girl you can't be with while you are  **married**  is quite hard.


	6. Chapter 5

Oh boy was it hard.  
  
Dean had fallen in love with you, without even realizing it, and he could not do anything about it (not yet at least) before he decided what he would do with her.  
  
 _Her._  
  
His wife. Lisa. They've been married for at least two years and he'd been dating her for another two.   
  
He loved her, yes, but that was probably in the beginning of their relationship. If you asked Dean he'd say that he still loved her after their marriage but that was half the truth.  
  
When they first got married everything was alright but then Dean started feeling as if things had started to change or maybe that's how they were before the marriage but he had not realized it. And it wasn't him that had started changing but her.  
  
It happened to be many times that Lisa would be away from home, appearing on some kind of movie or guest starring at some TV show, so Dean did not have the chance to see her very often, and it made him feel as if they were not married and he was alone, no different from how he used to feel two years ago, before they got married. And when she was home... well, that was a whole different story. She was distant and didn't talk much, she said she felt tired, Dean sometimes though thought otherwise.  
  
And on top of that she seemed not to really care about Dean and how he was, at least that's how Dean saw it. And even though he was not sure about that, there was one thing that he was certain on. And that was that  _he_  did not care anymore.   
  
He tried to. Really. Because he wanted to save his marriage, all that they had with Lisa. Not for him but for her.  
  
Despite the fact that many times she was "tired" and seemed to not care, she was a good wife (as much as she could be) and, no matter what, she loved him. That was for sure. So Dean could not do that to her. Even if he no longer felt the way she did.   
  
Not for her at least.  
  
"So did you think about it?" Sam asked Dean as they made their way to their classes.  
  
It was the last period and since the morning Dean had not stopped thinking about you, what he should do with you and his feelings for you, and what he should do with his wife.  
  
"I don't know, Sam. I feel totally fucked up" Dean sighed, rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Well you want to be with her, don't you? I mean you... have feelings for her hm?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yes Sam" Dean let out a defeated sigh "I've had for a long time"  
  
"Just... don't make any rush decisions, ok?" Sam said, looking at his brother sympathetically and Dean nodded.  
  
After a while of walking in silence, Dean took in a  deep breath when he approached his classroom. They reached the door and after Sam patted his brother on the shoulder, he made his way to his own classroom, leaving Dean to do what he dreaded most, since the morning.  
  
Giving a lesson and looking at you while trying  to act as if nothing was off and you were just like any other student.  
  
 _Hard._  
  
~ A few seconds earlier ~  
  
"You. have. to be. kidding me!" Caroline looked at you, eyes wide and mouth agape.  
  
"No Caroline I'm not" you let out a sigh, looking down at your desk as you and all the class were currently waiting for the teacher to come.  
  
And you really weren't looking forward to it.  
  
It would be really hard for you to look him in the eyes without blushing furiously or talking to him properly without stuttering.  
  
And as you waited for him, Caroline looked at you stunned.  
  
You had told her about the dream, after she kept bugging you the whole day and asking you what was going on and why you seemed to get lost in thoughts or when you tried to change the subject when  _he_  was mentioned.  
  
"But you definitely have to be kidding me!  _You_  had  _that_  kind of dream with  _him_!?" she raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Yes Caroline, I did. Now can you please stop mentioning it and stop embarrassing me!?" you whisper-shouted and she opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of the door opening and Dean coming in.  
  
As soon as he walked in the whole class went silent. Both you and Caroline turned to look at him and as he looked around the room his eyes suddenly stopped on you, as you both locked glances. It was just a few seconds but it seemed really longer, especially with the silence, not to mention kind of awkward with the whole class looking as he stood in the middle of his way to the desk just staring at you, as you did the same. But neither him nor you seemed to realize any of that, so Caroline, after glancing between the two of you, cleared her throat; giving you a look which made you brake your gaze and look down at your book.  
  
Dean blinked a few times, clearing his throat "Hello class" he said and made his way to his desk.  
"Hello Mr Winchester" the class said in unison apart from you, who just looked down at your book, and Caroline who would not stop looking at you frowning.  
  
The lesson started and luckily Dean announced that you were not going to have the test.  
  
Fortunately for you, because you wouldn't able to concentrate even in the least bit.  
  
However as the lesson started, time seemed to go by really slowly. You tried to concentrate, take notes and pay attention, however you found it really hard when you looked up from your notes to the blackboard and your eyes would lock with his. Every time you would look down immediately, trying really hard to avoid his gaze. Although many times you felt him looking at you, you thought nothing of it and just believed that it was what  _you_  wanted and-  
  
Wait what?  
  
No you didn't... did you?  
  
You shook slightly your head and rubbed your eyes, thankful that Dean could not see you clearly from where he was, since you were seated in the back of the class, Caroline next to you.  
  
You looked down at your notebook, trying to steady your fast-beating heart, when you saw a folded paper being passed to you.  
  
You looked at it and then at Caroline, who made a small sign for you to open it and so you did.  
  
 _R u ok? -Car_  
  
You saw written in it and scribbled down your answer.  
  
 _Yeah, fine. Don't worry -(Nickname)_  
  
And passed it to her, carefully so that Dean would not see (if possible from where he was).  
  
 _And now u expect me to believe u? -Car_  
  
 _Yes Car believe me. Just u know... him -(Nickname)_  
  
Yeah obviously. We can all see that. That's why we r seating here right? So that u can have a better look at him? -Car  
  
Well... maybe. But not in that way Car! -(Nickname)  
  
Yeah, u tell me. Cause u r definitely not staring at his back and drooling over only at that sight. -Car  
  
Shut up Caroline! U know I'm not! -(Nickname)  
  
Yeah right, just remind me to tell cupid that he's getting a raise after the good job he did with you and  
  
She started writing but stopped, as soon as Dean glanced your way, and she pretended to be checking her notes.   
  
Dean glanced at you suspiciously and then continued his lesson. Before Caroline could write more, you snatched the paper from her hands, folding it and putting it at the end of your notebook. You gave her glare, telling her to focus on the lesson and she just rolled her eyes, doing as you said.  
  
"Nerd" you heard her mumble.  
  
You rolled your eyes and tried to focus on the lesson, in spite of the hardness of it.  
  
Fortunately the lesson ended quickly and after Dean assigned you a paper, you gathered your things and waited for the bell to ring.  
  
"Hey, (Y/n)." you heard a voice say and you turned to your right to look at your long-time-friend and also classmate, Kol Mikaelson who was seating a few seats ahead.  
  
"Yeah Kol?" you asked.  
  
"Do you happen to know when we are to have the project that Mr. Saltzman assigned us finished?" he asked and you frowned.  
  
"Uhm probably by the next time we have a lesson with him. Which is... tomorrow"  
  
"Great. Bloody great!" he said sarcastically.  
  
"I take it that you have not done any of it yet, hm?" you smirked at his reaction.  
  
"Oh no, love. I have in fact writen ten pages and was thinking of adding more tonight that I have free time. You know I like partying hard with homework instead of partying hard at some bar." he said with his English accent.  
  
You laughed and shook your head slightly "Oh come on Kol, you know that if you don't write it then you are not going to get a grade, thus you're going to fail the class" you said giggling.  
  
"Oh come on, love. Don't be so dramatic. You really think that someone with this charm and looks would ever fail?" he asked smirking.  
  
"Of course not. How foolish of me to think such thing" you laughed as he did the same.  
  
"So what are you going to do?" you asked him and he shrugged.  
  
"Eh I don't know. Maybe, you know, ask a really good friend of mine, a really beautiful and sweet girl whom I adore and believe is the best-" he started but you cut him off.  
  
"No, Kol. I'm not doing your project" you said trying to seem serious but still smiling.  
  
"Oh come on, love! Why not?!" he whined, playfully.  
  
"Because!" you said "I'm not doing your project Kol, I have enough homework for my own and almost no time. Sorry but it's no"   
  
"Really? Come on, love, how can you say no to this eyes?" he said looking at you with puppy-eyes.  
  
"Like that" you said and put the bag on your shoulder and got up as the bell rang.  
  
You walked in front of him, smiling cheekily and he tried to make an angry face although he failed at it when a smile tried to make its way on his face.  
  
"I hate you" he said.  
  
"Oh I know. And I love you too Kol" you shouted so that he could her from where you were, at the door, making your way out with the rest of the students.  
  
Kol chuckled and mumbled "What a girl" as he gathered his things.  
  
Though what you did not see was the glare and hard looks Dean sent you and, mainly, Kol all the while you talked. Not to mention when he called you 'love' or you shouted at him that you loved him.   
  
He knew that you said it playfully and did not mean it but deep down he felt as if you did mean it and he would be lying if he said it didn't hurt.


	7. Chapter 6

You went home straight after school that day, you father was in the kitchen preparing dinner. You told him you were going to do your homework and would be down in an hour.  
  
You emptied the contents of your bag on your bed and after sorting the paper, the books, textbooks and the notebooks you began writing your small paper. Normally it would have taken you less than an hour but with it being assigned by Dean, and the subject alone reminding you of him, it proved a lot harder than you thought. Despite the difficulties you managed to finish it just as your father told you to hurry because dinner was ready. You hastily gathered the books, putting them aside, you gathered all the papers and put them aside too and then you took a few remaining ones, folded or not, and put them with the textbook you'd written your paper, seeing as Dean wanted the sources of your information along with what you'd written.  
  
After putting them aside, too, you made your way downstairs where your father awaited you. And so the rest of the day went by normally.  
  
And so did the rest of the week.  
  
Well, sort of. You did not have another lesson with Dean till Friday so you did not have to worry about being for an entire period in the same room with him and pretend as if nothing was wrong. And when you came across him, you just tried your best to avoid him, not looking him in the eyes or pretending you didn't see him walking by, all the way looking down or at Caroline's direction or even Kol's, who sometimes decided to join you...  
  
... missing the look of hurt on Dean's eyes and Sam's sympathetic glance at his brother.  
  
And without realizing... it was Friday and last period again.  
  
The bell rang and all the students entered the class, Dean following along a few minutes later.  
  
"Hello class" he said and the whole class responded with a "Hello Mr. Winchester"  
  
Before he began the lesson, he gathered the textbooks with your papers, and then proceeded to ask you some questions, and you prayed to God that he would not ask you.  
  
You kept staring at him all the while he heard the answers that your classmates gave him, finding it impossible to resist it any more, and whenever he would speak, even if it was to correct a student, or walk by or even give you a side-glance you would find yourself feeling all the more... weird.  
  
Kol gave you a concerned look and you smiled at him reassuringly, not convincing him completely. You looked down at your desk, taking deep breaths and thinking what was wrong with you. Because something was definitely wrong with you, that was for sure. And something was wrong with you the whole week.  
  
"(Y/n)" his voice broke  your trail of thoughts, not making you feel any better though.  
  
You slowly turned and looked up at him "Yes?" you asked, feeling your heart beat all the more faster when you locked eyes.  
  
"Are you feeling alright?" he asked, frowning concerning.  
  
You hesitated for a while but then shook your head "No" you said.  
  
"Would you like to go to the nurse, to see you?" he asked and you nodded "Yes, please" you said slowly and he nodded, full of concern.  
  
"Ok then" he turned to look at Caroline "Caroline, go with her" he said and she nodded.  
  
You both gathered your things and made your way out of the classroom to the nurse.  
  
"Are you alright?" she asked you and you shook your head.  
  
"I don't think so" you mumbled.  
  
"Is it about him?" she asked, concerned.  
  
You did not answer and just looked down as you walked down the hallway and entered the nurse's small room.  
  
"(Y/n)? Hello, hon." she gave you a smile and you tried to return it.  
  
You closed the door as Caroline waited outside "Hello, Meredith" you smiled, weakly.  
  
"Oh dear. What's wrong (y/n)?" she asked as she helped you walk and seat at the closest chair.  
  
"I-I don't know" you murmured "I'm just not feeling well"  
  
She put a hand on your forehead, then on your wrist to count your heartbeats and then took a stethoscope, putting it on your chest "Take a deep breath".  
  
You did so and then let it out. You repeated the process a couple more times before she pulled the stethoscope away and put it on her desk, frowning.  
  
"What is it?" you asked worried and she frowned more.  
  
"I can't really point a finger on it" she sighed and took a chair to seat close to you.  
  
"(Y/n), can you tell me what exactly are you feeling?" she asked and you spoke.  
  
"I didn't feel completely this way the whole week, the symptoms were subtle but this period it just... got worse. I-" you took a deep breath "I feel as if my heart will jump out of my chest, it beats uncontrollably fast, and- and my hands sometimes are shaking, and I can't control it. Sometimes I feel as if I can't breath properly and my mouth and throat go dry and then my stomach... It feels really weird as if there is a knot there or as if-" you continued but Meredith cut you off.  
  
"There are butterflies in it?" she asked with a smile making it's way on her face as she saw you nod.  
  
She chuckled and got up, putting the chair where it was before.  
  
"What is it?" you asked and she laughed slightly.  
  
"Don't worry (y/n), it isn't anything important. Well, basically it is, but-" she started but was cut off by someone knocking on the door.  
  
The door opened and you looked up to see Dean coming in, not realizing that the bell had already rang, and just like that the symptoms got back.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt." he said "I came to see what was wrong, how is she?" he said giving you a glance and you tried to avoid looking at him by looking down at your lap.  
  
"That's what I was explaining to her right now. It's nothing she should worry about. It will go away... or not" she said and both you and Dean looked at her frowning "Depending on how much time you spend with  _him_ " she chuckled and you frowned more.  
  
"Being _in love_  is nothing you should worry about, dear. Just make sure you spend a good amount of time with the lucky guy and tell him about your feelings sweety, you will feel better right away" she smiled and Dean suddenly got serious.  
  
"I- I don-" you started stuttering but she cut you off.  
  
"No need to apologize honey, we're a family here" she smiled warmly and you didn't dare look at Dean in the eyes.  
  
"I should probably go" you said and got up "Thank you for the help Meredith, goodbye Mr. Winchester" you said in a low voice, taking your bag with you wanting to leave the room as fast as possible.  
  
And you did. Though missing Dean's hard look.  
  
You were in love with him, now you were more than sure, but Dean did not know that.  
  
All he did know was that you were in love with somebody and that that somebody was not him but Kol.  
  
And now, you may say that why would he  **not think** (hope, even) that it was **him**  that you had feelings for?  
  
Well, simply because the way you and Kol acted towards each other along with the paper of yours and Caroline's conversation (that you had after the night you had the dream) proved otherwise.  
  
And it proved otherwise because it said that you had changed seats because of  _him_. And even though  _his_ name was not mentioned, the fact that the letter said about you staring at somebody's back made it easy for Dean to assume that it was Kol (who was seating a few seats ahead) whom you had feelings for.  
  
Now you may ask again, why Dean would assume such a thing, since he did not have that paper - that proof?  
  
Well simply because you had accidentally put it with the other papers and the textbook you had given Dean...  
  
... and that proof was enough for  Dean, when he read it that very same afternoon as he checked your paper.


	8. Chapter 7

The next week was a  _hell_  of a week.  
  
No, not  _that_  kind of a hell of a something.  
  
The other. Theliteral.  
  
Because,  _literally_ , it was a hell of a week.  
  
 _Hell_.  
  
That was the only way you could describe it. And it was all because of him.  
  
After what Meredith had said that Friday and after thinking of it the whole weekend you were 100% sure that no matter how much you denied it, or wanted to suppress it, you were in love with him. You were in love with Dean, and you couldn't help it. Not anymore. Just thinking of him, of how he would smile at you, of how he would talk at you, especially when he was worried, of how his green orbs would shine when he laughed, was enough for you to not want to deny your feelings anymore. Although it seemed hard sometimes. Especially when thinking of the fact that he was your teacher. Not to mention married.  
  
And then... Monday came. The weekend was over and school started again. And you so-wished it hadn't, because it literally was one  _hell_  of a week.  
  
All the times you had a lesson with him, he seemed... cold. Cold and distant. Whenever he came in to have a lesson and had to ask a question, he always asked other students for the answer. And he did not let you tell the answer when they could not. He avoided you. He did not talk to you during the lesson, not paying attention to you, as if you were not there. He did not even so glance at your direction and when he did... well, you wished he didn't. He would look at you with such a cold expression that you would always look somewhere else than in his eyes. And when you talked with Kol, that's when you mostly felt his glare at you, though you did not understand why.  
  
And then there was the paper.  
  
He began handing the papers and when he gave you yours, well, what you saw completely surprised you. You opened your textbook to see any possible errors you might have and you saw a big red F written at the top. You had failed. You did not expect it at all. You knew that it was not one of your best papers but you still thought you'd done well. Maybe a B- or C+ but certainly not an F. It did make you feel sad but you were sure that you would do better next time.  
  
Big mistake.  
  
Every other paper he assigned you and you did, no matter how many hours or effort it took you, was marked with the same red F. You could not understand why, but it really got to you and all you did was try even harder. It was of big importance to not fail biology and do well but things didn't go according to plan.  
  
And so without even realizing it, another week passed by. Exactly the same as the previous one. And you could not stand it anymore.  
  
~~~  
  
Dean could not stand it either. These two past weeks had been really hard for him. It was hard for him to act so cold and distant. It was hard for him to ignore you during the lesson. It was hard for him to not even glance at you. It was hard for him to look at you with a glare and not comfort you when he saw the hurt look on your face. And it was hard for him to put an F to all of your papers, even though most of them were worth an A.  
  
But then, when he thought of you and Kol during class or at the hallway, chatting and sometimes laughing, he completely lost it. And he was more than sure that he saw red when he saw Kol hug you after the lesson, probably after seeing you sad about the F on your paper. But despite that fact, he couldn't keep it and letting out a growl he stormed out of the class.  
  
So here he was. Two weeks after he " _found out_ " about your feelings for Kol and after two weeks of his jealousy getting the best of him, he walked down the road full of snow, which led to the local cemetery. The cemetery where his father was buried.  
  
He walked through the various graves and gravestones till he reached the one he was looking for. His father's.   
  
He looked down at the gravestone, trying to think of nothing and nobody and let all his worried fade away, for even a few minutes.  
  
It was times like this, when he visited his father's grave, that he would think more clearly and about what really mattered in his life.  
  
Some times it was about Lisa, others about Sam, rarely about him, but this time, his thoughts were about you.  
  
And then the silence was broken.   
  
Footsteps were heard, someone crunching to the ground and then a voice.  
  
"Hey mom, yeah me again" a dry and raspy from the cold, and crying, voice was heard saying.  _Your_  voice.  
  
"It seems as if I've gotten used to come more and more. Sorry for bothering" you let out a dry laugh and sniffed.  
  
"Yeah, sorry. I just..." you stopped and took in a shaky breath, wiping a few tears.  
  
"I'm sorry mom. I'm so so so sorry... I'm failing. I'm failing you and I'm failing dad" you said and started crying more a few sobs escaped your throat.  
  
"I tried" you sniffed "I still am trying. But no matter how hard I try I just... keep failing." you started sobbing again and Dean tried  with all his will not turn and grab you to comfort you. He  _hated_  hearing you cry.  
  
"I'm sorry mom. I really try. I try as much as I can. I study till late at night but I just keep failing biology" and _that_ crushed him.  
  
He was the reason you were crying and oh-boy did he  _hate_  that.  
  
"And I'm failing to keep my promise. I'm failing mom and because of me... dad will die too" you said crying "I won't be able to become a doctor and dad..." you stopped, starting crying, and Dean clenched his fists.  
  
"I won't be able to save him, mom. I'm sorry" you finished and Dean clenched his jaw.  
  
How could he have been so selfish? How could he have left his jealousy and his ego take over so easily?   
  
He knew that you wanted to become a doctor for a long time, and although he had heard Sam say that your father had a health problem, he never thought that it would be reason why you wanted it so much and tried so hard to achieve that goal. He never thought that you wanted to become a doctor so that you could help your father with his health problem.  
  
And he felt bad about that. He felt bad because he knew how it was to feel responsible for losing someone, especially that close to you, and not being able to do anything to save them, even though you could. He knew it because that's how he felt every single day of his life after his father's death. He blamed himself and he knew that that's what you would do if anything happened to Kieran, and he would be responsible for that. Dean would be responsible for your future grief and self loathing and he hated himself more for that.  
  
But he had made his decision, no matter what, he was not going to let you go through what he did. Because he loved you and he should not let his jealousy take over... he could not.  
  
~~~  
  
After visiting you mother's grave you returned home and started your homework. Though this time you did not put much effort into it, knowing that once again you were going to get an F on your biology paper.  
  
The next day as usual Dean walked into class and started gathering the papers.  
  
What surprised you was the look on his face when you handed him your own paper. Hurt. He looked hurt and sad. You didn't really know what caused it but you did not have the will to question it. You really were tired. Tired of everything. So for the rest of the lesson, it was not him that avoided eye-contact, but you. And whenever he asked you a question, even if you knew the answer, you simply answered "I don't know sir" in a low voice.  
  
Quickly the lesson ended and in the last five minutes he decided to hand you your previous papers. When he handed you yours, to say that you were surprised would be an understatement.  
  
Below the red A there was written in small letters  _'I'm sorry'_  
  
You started at it for a while. Looking from the paper to Dean, sitting on his desk, and then back at it.   
  
You frowned, trying to understand what was going on.   
  
Once the bell rang all the students got up and this time you staid behind, waiting for everyone to get out. Once the class was cleared of students you approached his desk and upon looking at your approaching, Dean cleared his throat and after letting a sigh he looked up at you.  
  
"Yes, (y/n)?" he asked "Can I help you?"  
  
"Uhm yes, Mr. Winchester. I wanted to ask-" you hesitated for a while and then spoke "I saw the grade on my paper and I wanted to ask what you meant with what you've written below" you looked at him, biting slightly your lip.  
  
Dean let out a small sigh "That I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the last few papers that I've mark with an F. They deserved a better grade. Way better. I just-" he hesitated, not knowing what to really say. Not the truth of course. He could not say that he was jealous. He could not say that was being egoistic. And he certainly could not say that he felt that way only because of his feelings for you.  
  
"I just thought that this way I would be able to... push your further. To.. test your limits and force you to do better. Because I know that you can do amazingly. I believe in you" he said, which was not completely a lie.  
  
"R-really?" you asked, not really believing what you were hearing.   
  
He nodded and a small smile appeared on your lips, making him smile a little bit too.  
  
"Yes. But obviously I did not achieve that and I just discouraged you. So I'm sorry if you thought that you were not doing well. In fact you were." he said feeling bad for what he had done.  
  
"T-thank you Mr. Winchester. Thank you very much" you said with a big smile on your face, finally gaining hope.  
  
"No problem (y/n)" he said smiling at seeing you happy.  
  
Though his smile turned into a sad one after he saw you go out of the class and immediately joined Kol in the hallway.  
  
 _Maybe this is for the best_  Dean thought.  
  
He could not be with you. All he would cause was pain to the people that were close to him, you included. And he did not want that.  
  
~~~  
  
And just like that the week was over once again. It was Friday night and you found yourself at the small library near your school reading and writing. Trying really hard to get the damn history paper finished.   
  
You let out a frustrated sigh glancing at the clock. Seeing as it was really late at night you shook your head and closed the books, putting your papers into your bag you made your way to the librarian's desk, holding the books in your hands. You gave them to her and after telling her good-night you walked out of the library and made your way to your place.  
  
Holding your bag closer to yourself you walked down the empty streets. There were not many lights on and the darkness made you feel uneasy, as if somebody was watching you. You tried to shake the feeling off and turned around the corner walking in the darkness for a while.  
  
You were feeling nervous, you would confess to that. It was not your fault though. It was a well-known fact that a lot of people went missing lately, most of whom at night, and were not found. And when they found someone, by chance, they were always dead. And not just dead, but murdered in brutal way. Heart missing, neck cut, bloodied and bruised, cuts all over them, as if somebody tortured them. But what terrified you the most was that nothing has been done to track them. No matter how much the police would try, they had not managed to even so catch one of them. Because they were sure that there were at least nine people, if not more.  
  
You suddenly stopped for a while, feeling eyes on you. You turned to look behind you but saw nothing. You looked to your right and then left but did not see anyone.  
  
"I'm going crazy" you shook your head and hugged your jacket closer to yourself and turned to start making your way back to your home again.  
  
But nobody could have prepared you for what you saw.  
  
A man in front of you.   
  
And before you could react he put a hand on your mouth, preventing you from screaming.  
  
 _Of God help me_  you thought.


	9. Chapter 8

_Of God help me_  you thought.  
  
Your eyes widened as you looked at the man in front of you. There was something dark about him that you couldn't point your finger on.  
  
"Going somewhere sweetheart?" he asked with a sick and twisted smile, his breath hitting your face, and you could smell the alcohol in it.  
  
You tried to go back but he gripped you tight, putting a hand on your arms.  
  
"Oh come on sweet-cheeks don't fight" he said with a laugh as you tried to fight him off "We don't bite... hard" he laughed more and so did the men behind him.  
  
"Come on now!" he all-but shouted, face completely serious, and your eyes widened, a few tears running down your cheeks.  
  
You stopped fighting, afraid that you would make him angry. Because even if you managed to break free from his grip there was no way that you would manage to escape from all of them.  
  
"That's more like it" he grinned and more tears run down your face "You really shouldn't be walking alone this time of the night. You never know what might be waiting around the corner." he said and the men behind him laughed.  
  
"It's dangerous. Especially with all those people going missing lately" he laughed and pulled his hand away from your mouth, and grabbed your jaw tightly. Making you cry out in pain.  
  
"Oh no honey, don't be afraid. We just wanna have some fun" he grinned and your cried more.  
  
"Please, please leave me alone. I-I..." you started but then trailed off and started sobbing.  
  
"Don't worry, babe. I'm sure you will like it" he grinned and you started crying more and sobbing, as his hand went from holding your jaw to your waist and then down your leg. He tried to push your dress up but luckily immediately stopped when a voice was heard.  
  
"Hey leave her alone!" the rough voice roared angrily.  
  
The man stopped and everybody looked at someone that was standing behind you.  
  
"Hey pal, mind your own business, we are just having some fun here" your captor said, trying to make him leave.  
  
"I said. Leave. her. alone!" the voice said more angrily and you looked at your captor to see a dark expression on his face.  
  
"Obviously you don't get it. Let me spell it out for you. Mind. your. own. business." he said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Bite me" the man, it was clear from the way his voice sounded, said sarcastically.  
  
And that was all it took for the fight to start. Because obviously your captor saw red. He immediately pushed you and you fell on the cold and wet road, scratching your knee and arm, pain shooting through you, and him along with the rest of the gang making his way to where (obviously) the man was.  
  
You on the other hand could not see much. You staid for a while down on the cold road, unable to move from the pain, crying and sobbing. After a few seconds you tried to get up but failed so you decided to crawl to the side of the road and laid down at the roots of a tree, pulling your knees to yourself and hugging them as close as possible to you.  
  
You shut your eyes tightly, the only thing you could hear was men fighting and you wished with all your heart that  _he_  would be able to fight them off. Because if he didn't then... you did not even dare to think about what those people would do to you. A few more minutes passed and nothing could be heard anymore. The only thing you could hear was your uncontrollable sobs and some hiccups here and there along with unsteady breathing.  _Your_  unsteady breathing.   
  
But nothing else.  
  
Nothing else but silence.  
  
And then you heard it. Heavy breathing and... Footsteps. Footsteps coming closer to you. You got scared and pushed yourself closer to the tree, as far away as possible from whoever coming close. You curled yourself more close to the tree, sobs shaking your whole body, unable to stop yourself from crying.  
  
"Hey, hey it's alright" the voice, although rough, sounded soft "Everything's alright"  
  
You hesitated to move but when you did turn around, to look first at the hand on your shoulder and then at the face of the man that saved you, you could not believe your eyes. Although it was dark you could clearly make out the face of your savior. And even if you didn't see clearly, you would know who he was just by looking in those forest-green eyes.  
  
Your eyes almost widened "D-Dean?" you asked not believing what you were seeing through your blurry eyes.  
  
He smiled at hearing you call him by his first name "Yeah, it's me" he said softly.  
  
"H-how- Wh-what? I- They-" you started stuttering but he stopped you.  
  
"No time for that. How about we get you away from here, hm?" he asked in a low voice and you looked at your bleeding knee and back at him, giving a small nod.  
  
He smiled slightly and after grabbing your bag that was away from you he came back to you and although you tried to get up on your own he just gave you your bag and bent to pick you up and carry you bridal style.  
  
Your cheeks flushed and you looked at him almost wide-eyed but you just looked down at your hand holding your bag and wiped your tears with the other one, although a few more rolled down your cheeks. You took in a shaky breath, and hugged your bag closer to you as few sobs escaped your throat, no matter how much you tried to hold them. And although it seemed as if it was your idea, Dean held you tighter upon hearing you cry.  
  
After a few seconds you looked up at him and although your vision was slightly blurry from the tears you could see Dean almost clearly. And so you staid like that. Looking at him. Staring at him. Gazing at him. You were mesmerized by him. By his oh-so-green eyes that although they held a fire in them they looked soft. And by his jaw which was set, firmly, his lips slightly pursed and a small split on them, with a few droplets of blood running.  
  
So that's how you staid there, in his firm and strong arms as he held you tightly and close to him. But he obviously realized that you were staring because he looked down at you, raising slightly an eyebrow, and you immediately looked down at your hands and bag, blushing.  
  
And after a while you started feeling more tired, your eyes almost closing sometimes. You rubbed them, trying to get the sleep out of them just for a little bit longer, until at least you reached your place. But you could no longer keep yourself from feeling so tired. And you could no longer keep yourself from leaning in, closer to him, closer to his warm body.  
  
He was so warm that you could not help yourself but put a hand on his chest and your head at the crook of his neck. He seemed to tense, almost stopping for a few seconds, but then he kept walking as he pulled you closer to him. And you snuggled closer to him, breathing in his perfect scent. And just like that you found yourself falling into a peaceful sleep, all worries and pain washing away immediately as if nothing bad had happened, because you felt safe. You were safe. In his arms. In Dean's arms.  
  
~~~  
  
You felt yourself being pulled out of sleep as the sun hit your face. You groaned and tried to hide your face under the covers.  
  
 _Wait what?_  
  
You woke up completely as realization hit you. You immediately opened your eyes and rubbing the sleep out of them you looked around you, trying to understand where you were. You removed the covers and looked down at yourself. Luckily you were fully clothed, apart from your jacket which was now hanging on a chair, and a bandage was wrapped around your knee as well as arm. You then turned your head looking around the room and then your eyes widened in realization. You were not in your room, that was for sure. You were...  
  
... in Dean's room?  
  
You were completely sure once you looked at the window and the whole room and immediately tried to get up. A decision which you soon regretted because as soon as you stepped on your feet, pain shoot through your whole foot and knee, making you yelp and fall to the floor with a loud thud. Which obviously Dean heard, as he came running up the stairs and quickly came to your side.  
  
"Hey, hey. Easy there, take it easy" he said softly, and grabbed you by your shoulders to help you up.  
  
"No. It's ok Mr-" you started but then stopped "Dean. It's ok Dean. I can do it" you said giving him a small smile.  
  
He chuckled and you looked at him frowning "It's just-" he laughed a little more "Again with those damn formalities" he said and your eyes almost widened.  
  
 _He sounds just like in the dream_  you thought but immediately shook the thought off.  
  
"Sorry..." you mumbled as he helped you sit on the bed and started checking your knee.  
  
"No it's ok. You just- You're really formal...  _all_  the time." he chuckled more and you blushed.  
  
"Sorry" you apologized once again "It has just become a habit. You're my teacher and-" he cut you off.  
  
"Yes, but we're not at school anymore" he looked up at you with a smirk.  
  
 _Damn. This sounds all the more like the dream_ you thought again.  
  
"Yeah..." you mumbled.  
  
"Besides, I'm not  _that_  old" he continued and went back to treating your knee.  
  
"You not old at all Dean" you said without even thinking, just speaking your mind.  
  
He looked back up at you with a smile "Thanks" he mumbled and you just smiled back.  
  
You stood there for a while, just looking at each other, no-one making a move or saying anything, just gazing into each other's eyes and enjoying the peace and silence surrounding you. But when you realized it you immediately broke your gaze and opted for looking down at your hands, a blush making its way up to your cheeks. Dean cleared his throat and slightly shaking his head he finished fixing the bandage on your knee.   
  
Silence surrounded you but Dean soon broke it.  
  
"So I talked to your father about last night" he began and you immediately remembered that your father was not at home. And he would not be for the whole Friday and weekend. Some business he had to attend at a nearby church he had told you.  
  
"He said that although he cannot come back you are not staying at your home alone" Dean said and looked up at you "You are going to spend the weekend here, with me" he finished.  
  
~~~  
  
And you did spend the weekend with him.   
  
Maybe in the beginning it was awkward, seeing as he was really close to you all the time as he had to help you move around the house, and you blushed furiously most of the times. Especially that time when he was having a shower and you had to catch your ringing phone. You of course fell, yelping in pain, and Dean heard you, so he quickly came out to help you. Luckily he was wearing his jeans, obviously he had just started dressing. But the fact that he was not wearing a shirt and came to help you up, by holding you and being close to you, touching you, and supporting you while not wearing a shirt, and had just come out of the shower, was enough to make you blush just at the mere thought.  
  
Fortunately for you that was just the first day of you staying with him. After a while your knee got better, not completely well, but fine enough so that you could walk one your own. Meaning that you could avoid any more awkward moments. Though, him walking in on you changing was quite awkward too, you tried to brush it off. No matter how hard it seemed.  
  
Except for those awkward moments the weekend with Dean was... the best you ever had.  
  
You had a lot in common, both having a special love for pie. And although you would never expect it, he was an amazing person whom you wanted to have more conversations with. Not only was he funny, but he also made interesting and smart conversations. And you found yourself talking to him more and more. Getting to know each other more, exploring your interests, and talking about whatever topic you thought of.  And most of the time it was about his family. Over this weekend you had come to learn that, although he didn't show it, Dean was a broken man. He'd gone through a lot in his life yet he kept going. Greeting everyday with a smile. And that was something you had began to love about him. Though there wasn't a single thing that you did not love about him.  
  
"And I just decided to lick the whole boll. Though the chocolate was more than what I expected. So you can guess how I looked when I pulled my face out of it" Dean finished another one of his stories, taking a small sip from his hot chocolate and then putting it at the small coffee table in front of you.  
  
You were both currently sitting on the couch, at the living room, drinking some hot chocolate waiting for the apple-pie you had made to finish baking. Well, it was mostly him making the preparations and you just helping him. Just another thing you did not expect from him.  
  
You laughed, as he did the same, and shook your head "Seriously Dean. Could you not just take a spoon?" you said, using his first name. You had now become used to calling him by his first name and not use any formalities.  
  
"Well what's the fun to that, hm?" he asked with a smile and you shrugged.  
  
"I guess you're right, that's what I would do most of the times when I was younger anyway" you said.  
  
"See. That's my point" he said drinking from his mug and you nodded, doing the same.  
  
Your laughter died out, the smiles remaining on your faces, as silence surrounded you. Though this time it was not awkward at all. Not to mention it seemed comfortable. It felt comfortable. Being with him felt comfortable. Being with him felt like home.  
  
You looked at your mug for a while then up and around the room until your eyes fell up on a framed picture of him... and his wife. And the smile immediately vanished from your face.  
  
You had met her, Lisa was her name, and she seemed pretty nice. Though now that you'd come to know Dean more you did not see what they could have in common. What could keep them together.  
  
"She's in California" Dean said, seeing you look at the picture, and you turned to look at him "Probably shooting some movie... again" Dean finished, letting out a sigh and looking back down at his mug.  
  
Your heart broke at the sight "You... you miss her?" you asked, biting slightly your lip. Not really wanting to hear the answer.  
  
He looked at you, and letting out a sigh, he put the mug on the table, you doing the same, and he spoke "I... I've become used to it."  
  
You frowned so he continued "After we got married lots of things changed. We don't spend much time together. Most of the time she's away shooting some movie or TV show, and it feels as if we are not married at all, as if I'm alone. And... no matter how used to it I may be, I... miss her" he said and you looked down at your hands at hearing what you feared.  
  
"I mean" he started again and you looked up at him, seeing him look right ahead "I sometimes miss the moments we spent together. The beautiful ones. But... they're over. And... even though I should probably think of her all the time when she's away, like a right husband that loves his wife should do, I... don't. These past two weeks I haven't thought of her a lot and this weekend... I haven't thought of her even in the least bit and now that I do-" he took in a deep breath "- I no longer feel that I miss her. I no longer feel that emptiness and loneliness that was always there, even when she was with me. And that-" he turned to look at you "Because of you (y/n)" he finished and you looked at him, trying to keep a smile from appearing.  
  
And then... silence.  
  
No-one said a thing. Both you and Dean staring into each other's eyes, gazes locked, no-one daring to move or break the stare. It felt as if time had stopped. The word had stopped spinning. Nothing and nobody existed. Just you and him. It felt like forever but oh-boy did you love standing just like that, on the couch close to him and staring in his so-damn-perfect green eyes. And then his whole face. Trying to take in every little piece of detail possible. Looking from beautiful eyes, to his spiky short hair, to the freckles on his adorable nose, to his small scruff and then his lips.  
  
Damn why did they suddenly look so kissable?!  
  
You quickly averted your eyes to look up into his and saw him do the exact same thing.  
  
Why would  _he_  look at your lips?  
  
Soon your question was answered. Because he was leaning in. Closer and closer every second. Till his lips were just a few mere inches away from yours. And before you could open your mouth to speak he closed the remaining distance between you, his lips on yours. Kissing. In the beginning hesitantly but when you responded he got more sure of himself, even putting a hand on your cheek. Never stopping kissing you and so did you.  
  
You kept kissing him back...  
  
... and it was  _real_.


	10. Chapter 9

Oh boy. It was real. And you were more than sure. Because not only did it feel like in the dream but it was  _much_  better.  
  
You felt your hands make their way around his neck as if they had a mind of their own, because yours, certainly, was completely blank. You could not think of anything else. Anything else but his lips on yours. And did you like that thought.  
  
His other hand made its way to rest on your hip and you felt yourself leaning back to the couch. Soon you were laying on it, him on of you. But you did nothing about it, just kept kissing him. Your whole body seemed to have a mind of its own, refusing to do anything to stop him.  
  
He pulled away just for a mere second to catch his breath, looking at your swollen lips and half closed eyes, and then closed the distance once again, kissing you with all his passion and love. And he felt as if his body had a mind of its own too, because not matter how much he wanted to contain himself and not cross the limits, his hand moved from your hip to your waist and then under your shirt. He could not comprehend what he was doing, his mind was completely blank, the only thing there, was you kissing him. But obviously his body needed to feel yours as his hand did not stop even a second and pushed your shirt further up.  
  
However, as soon as his skin touched yours, your eyes widened in realization and gathering all your will you pushed him back and stared at him with wide eyes, a shocked expression on your face.  
  
He looked at you quizzically for a while but immediately realized why you had pushed him away and his eyes widened too.  
  
"Oh shit" he mumbled, running a hand down his face "(Y/n) I'm sorry I didn't mean to push you further, I-"  he started but you cut him off.  
  
"No, I-I am sorry Mr. Winchester. We- You- I-" you stuttered and then took in a shaky breath, fixed your shirt and got up, away from him.  
  
"No, (y/n). Please" he looked at you with pleading and hurt eyes, taking a few steps towards you and you took a few steps back.  
  
"You are my teacher. You- you are friends with my father." you said putting a hand on your forehead "Oh my God, my father. If he ever found out he-" you stopped mid-sentence putting a hand on your mouth.  
  
"(Y/n) please" Dean pleaded once again "I want to be with you" he whispered and you turned to look at him abruptly.  
  
You could not help but feel your heart flutter and fill with joy, just by hearing him say it, by looking him in the eyes and seeing that he truly meant it. He approached you slowly and before you cold realize it he was inches apart, a soft smile on his lips at seeing you not back away from him.  
  
"Please" he whispered once again, eyes soft and pleading.  
  
You looked at him, wanting more than anything to give in, to be with him, to lean in as _he_  did, now, to kiss him and let him hold you and-  
  
"No!" you pushed him away and you gathered all your will not to take it back, at seeing the look of hurt on his face. It literally broke your heart. But you had to.  
  
"You're married!" you told him "You're married and your wife- your wife loves you. And so do you" you spoke and he cut you off.  
  
"No! Not anymore!" he protested but you maintained your opinion.  
  
"Yes, yes you do! You do and should do.  _She_  is your wife. I-" you swallowed the lump in your throat "I am nothing. And will never be anything for you" you tried to say firmly, although you felt tears welling up in your eyes, so you did the only thing you could to hide them.  
  
You run away.  
  
You run to the door and grabbing your house's keys you run to it, ignoring Dean's voice calling your name.  
  
"(Y/N)!" he shouted as you run but you ignored him.  
  
He run after you but was not able to catch up with you as you reached your house, getting in and locking the door behind you. Unable to stand on your feet you collapsed to the ground behind the door, sobs shaking your whole body.  
  
"(Y/n), please. Open the door." Dean's pleading voice was heard at the other side of the door "Please" he said, voice cracking, and you felt more tears run down your cheeks at hearing the pain in his voice.  
  
A few more sobs escaped your throat and you had to put a hand in front of your mouth to contain yourself.  
  
After what felt an eternity of Dean being outside the door, knocking and pleading for you to open, he stopped. And that because, as he told you, your father arrived. You heard Dean tell him that he just escorted you to your house and was just leaving, and obviously your father believed him. You heard the keys on the door and immediately run upstairs to your room, getting to your bathroom and turning the shower on, so that you father would think you were having a bath and would not question your uncontrollable sobbing and crying.  
  
~~~  
  
Ans that's how it began.   
  
That night your father did not question your red eyes because he simply did not see them. You told him you were really tired and went early to bed.  
  
The next day you did not go to school and told your father as well as Caroline, who called to check up on you, that you were not feeling alright. But then another day passed. And another. And another and you still had to go to school. You still had to see him.  
  
And although your father seemed to believe you, since you never lied to him, Caroline did not which is why she visited you straight after school that Thursday. And knowing Caroline, and the fact that she would not stop bugging you if you did not tell her what was wrong, you told her everything.  
  
She stared at you, for a while, wide-eyed and mouth agape "You're kidding me right?" she asked, eyebrows raised.  
  
"No, Car, I'm not" you let out a sigh and looked down, hugging your pillow closer to yourself.  
  
"And you just pushed him away?!" she asked and you nodded, slowly.  
  
"Seriously?!" she said and you looked up at her, frowning.  
  
"What do you mean?" you asked.  
  
"What do I mean? (Y/n) really? I mean, look at yourself" she gestured to you "You're a wreck. And all of that just because of your damn guilt. And for what reason, hm?"  
  
"He's my teacher and married" you said in a low voice.  
  
"Screw school and screw his wife!" she said.  
  
"Caroline it's not that simple-" you started but she cut you off.  
  
"No, (y/n), it is!" she said in a firm voice "You've known Dean for a long time and he- he would never do or say something that he does not mean! Damn it (y/n) how can you not see that he is in love with you, how can you not see the way he looks at you when you are not, how can you not realize with how much love and care he speaks to you, especially when he is worried about you. And how can you not realize what a wreck you've become without him, how helpless you are without him, or how your eyes brighten up when you speak with him. How can you not realize how much in love you are with him?! HOW!?" she rambled and took a few deep breaths once she finished.  
  
You looked down at your hands, knowing that what Caroline was saying was completely true and that you wanted more than anything to be with him. But at the same time you were filled with guilt.  
  
"(Y/n)" Caroline spoke in a more soft voice, putting a hand on your shoulder "Don't think about it, don't think about anything. Follow you heart. He loves you. You love him. That simple. Come on now, I know you will do the right thing" she said with a soft smile which you returned.  
  
Your decision was now made.  
  
~~~  
  
You walked with Caroline by your side, hugging your books tightly to your chest, as you both made your way to the school. You hesitated for a while once you reached the door, looking at it, afraid to even take a step ahead. Caroline noticed your nervousness and put a hand on your shoulder. You looked at her, as she gave you a comforting smile, and you nodded smiling slightly as well. You took in a deep breath and took a steps ahead walking straight inside, Caroline following.  
  
Not many students had come but still the halls of the school were almost full of them. And despite all these students your eyes landed upon him. And so did his.  
  
Sam who was next to him gave him a puzzled look but as soon as he followed his gaze he realized what was happening.   
  
You quickly broke your gaze, clearing your throat, and continued walking. And soon you approached him.  
  
"Good-morning" Caroline said for both of you, as you just gave them a small smile and then looked back down at your books.  
  
Dean did not say anything, he merely looked at you, with both adoration, love, worry and fear.  
  
Sam, who saw his brother's stare, elbowed him and Dean looked at him and then back at you, remembering the talk he had with his brother earlier.  
  
He cleared his throat and spoke "Oh uh uhm (y/n)-" he started but found unable to speak the moment you looked up at him with your (e/c) eyes.  
  
He cleared his throat once again and regaining his posture he spoke "Can I talk to you after your first period?" he asked, afraid of what answer he would get.  
  
You gave Caroline a small glance and then looked at him "Of course" you gave a small nod.  
  
Dean looked a little shocked, not expecting you to say yes, but then smiled a little and nodded.  
  
Once the bell rang you made your way to your first class for the day and waited for it to end. Wishing for it to be over quickly and at the same time to last as long as possible.  
  
When the bell rang, you gathered your things, and looked at Caroline, who gave an encouraging smile, and taking a deep breath you got out of the class and made your way to his office.  
  
You reached his office and taking a deep breath you knocked on the door.  
  
After a few seconds the door opened by Dean himself and you both stood there looking at each other, eyes locked. This time he broke his gaze and, clearing his throat, he invited you in.  
  
Closing the door he came closer to you and leaned against his desk, where he motioned for you to leave your books.  
  
"You said you wanted to speak to me?" you asked in a calm voice.  
  
"Uhm yeah yeah." he cleared his throat "Are you- are you ok? I mean you did not come to school the whole week and you father told me that you were not feeling good."  
  
"Yeah, I was not feeling really well. But I'm better now" you said looking at his worried face and gave him a small smile.  
  
"O-ok. So I wanted to talk to you about- I mean I wanted to talk with you for- I mean- I-" he stuttered.  
  
"Damn this is hard" he run a hand down his face.  
  
"Ok so let me try again" he started again, taking in a deep breath "What happened. Between you and me. Between us. I- I don't regret it. And I meant what I said to you. I know you might think that this might be just some phase. A break from my routine as a husband, but it's not (y/n). And I know you might feel guilty for Lisa, so do I, but (y/n) the way you make me feel is- it is unique. Lisa does not make me feel that way, she never did in fact. There is nothing between her and me anymore. A- and if I have to feel guilty for betraying her then so be it. As long as I have you in my arms then nothing else matters to me. Because I want you, (y/n). Very much. And I don't care about anything else but you. Not school, not Lisa not even Kieran. Because I- I, damn, I'm in love with you (y/n)! I'm in love with you and won't give up on it so easily!" he finished, taking deep breath, his hands gripping on your shoulders.  
  
You looked at him with an almost cold expression, but a definitely blank one, not moving and just looking him in the eyes. Him looking back at you. Hope in his green eyes, pleading for you to say something. Which you didn't. So he slowly and hesitantly started pulling his hands away from your shoulders, his gaze falling to the ground.  
  
"But... you obviously are not" he mumbled, looking to the ground forth and back.  
  
But before he could pull his hands to his side completely he felt a hold on them. He looked up to see you holding them. Your expression the same as before. He looked at you wondering what was going on but before he could open his mouth he saw your gaze soften and then a warm smile appearing on your face.  
  
"I am... I am" you said in a low voice, softly and sincerely and before he could say anything, you put a hand on his chest the other cupping his cheeks and closed the remaining space between you.  
  
Dean's eyes were wide for a while but then realized what was happening.  
  
You were kissing him.  _You_  were kissing  _him_.  
  
After having admitted that you felt the same way he did.  
  
A smile appeared on Dean's face and as soon as he felt your soft lips pull away from his, he grabbed you by your waist, another hand on the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You smiled into the kiss as he began to kiss you back, the small peck you had given him soon turning into a more passionate one.  
  
Nothing could be heard for a few seconds, just the small sounds of the two of you kissing but then-  
  
"Hey Ric, do you happen to know where my dear husband is?"  
  
"Uhm, yes, in his office right there, Lisa


	11. Chapter 10

"Hey Ric, do you happen to know where my dear husband is?"  
  
"Uhm, yes, in his office right there, Lisa"  
  
"Thank you very much, Ric"  
  
The voice replied and it took a few seconds to realize what was happening. Your eyes widened in a realization and tried to push Dean, who obviously had not realized a thing because he kept kissing you, away.  
  
Dean looked at you frowning "What..." he said breathlessly but you did not respond.  
  
You just licked your lips and suddenly turned to look at the door, a shadow was visible that it was approaching, footsteps echoing and coming closer. And just in a split second the door opened and you immediately grabbed your books from his desk, getting a little bit away from him, and Lisa walked in.  
  
Dean immediately straightened up and cleared his throat.  
  
"Hey" he said his voice still raspy so he cleared his throat again, giving you a glance which you returned.  
  
"Hello Mrs Winchester" you looked at Lisa, giving her a polite smile.  
  
"Oh come on (y/n) I've told you to call me Lisa" she chuckled slightly "Anyway, hello to you too" she approached Dean.  
  
"And hello to you. Missed me?" she smirked at him and before Dean could respond she leaned up and kissed him.  
  
Dean stood awkwardly still, eyes wide open and he glanced at you, who were looking down at your feet. So Dean brought his hands up and pushed Lisa away. She looked at him quizzically but brushed the thought off.  
  
"Hey, uhm, when did you return?" he asked.  
  
"Jut an hour ago. Didn't you miss me?" she fake-pouted.  
  
"I uh I-" he hesitated and glanced at you behind her.  
  
You gave him a small, soft smile which he slightly returned and then he looked at Lisa "Yeah, yeah" he kept the smile.  
  
"Well I'm glad then" she leaned up to kiss him again but he stopped her, giving you a glance and only then did she remember that you were still there.  
  
"Oh heh sorry (y/n)" she laughed a little bit.  
  
"No it's ok" you smiled, although this time you did not mean it even in the least bit "I'll just go. Thank you for helping me with my paper Mr. Winchester" you gave Dean a smile, trying to seem believable, and then turned to leave, not so much glancing at him when you opened the door to walk out of the room. All the while Dean looked at you feeling sorry for what you had to see and for not stopping Lisa. Mixed feelings washing over him, not sure if after Lisa's return and that scene you would want to continue what you had started a few minutes ago.  
  
But you did. Fact that he realized just a few hours later.  
  
~~~  
  
Dean sat alone at the big couch on his living room, thinking of what he could do to find out if you still wanted to be with him or not. Lisa was not at home at the moment, she had gone at a friend of hers' house, visiting after all the time she's been away. So luckily Dean had some time alone to think about what he should do. He was happy that she was not there and after a long time he felt better when she was not with him than when she was. Because when she was Dean felt as if he could not breath. As if she was suppressing him and did not let him feel himself. The exact opposite from the way he felt with you.  
  
You. That was the only thing he was thinking about. Did you still want to be with him after Lisa's return? Would you risk it? Did you love him so much as to endanger everything?   
  
 _Love him..._  
  
The mere memory of you telling him you felt the same way, that you loved him, brought a smile upon his lips. The lips that you had kissed with your own initiative.  
  
He smiled fondly at remembering the kiss you shared and then the doorbell rang.  
  
"Again forgetting the keys..." he mumbled, thinking that Lisa had forgotten her keys, letting out a sigh because she was back.  
  
He opened the door but what he saw surprised him "(Y/n)?" he asked.  
  
You gave him a small smile and mumbled "Hey"  
  
"What, uh, what do you-" he stuttered and you moved the pie you were holding higher.  
  
"Brought some pie. Dad and I decided to do some baking and, yeah, knowing my love for pie he suggested we made some. And I brought some of it, knowing that you like it, so..." you trailed off, looking down at the pie in your hands; shrugging.  
  
"Oh uh, thank you. Thank you" he smiled slightly and extended his hands to take the pie. Your hands brushing, making you look up at him for a while.  
  
He cleared his throat and took the pie, motioning for you to come in. You did so, and closed the door behind you; standing there and fidgeting with your hands as you waited for him to return from the kitchen. You heard footsteps and looked up to see him coming closer, holding a key.  
  
"Uhm this belongs to your father, I'd bring it over later but since you came... yeah" he trailed off and you nodded. You took the key but he held your hand and you looked up at him.  
  
You frowned and he spoke "What happened earlier, at school, what you said; do you-" he started but you cut him off.  
  
"Yes. Yes I meant it." you said and he looked at you "And I still want to be with you. No matter what" you smiled softly and brought a hand to cup his cheek.  
  
"Even-" he started and you cut him off again.  
  
"Even if Lisa is back" you smiled "That does not change my feelings for you" and at hearing that he smiled too.  
  
You leaned up and kissed him, him kissing back immediately.   
  
So that's how it began...  
  
Dean's and yours love story. Your forbidden love story.  
  
~~~  
  
The weekend passed by rather slowly and you could not wait for Monday to come because that would mean seeing him. Not that during the weekend you would not see him, you would. When you both were at your bedrooms you would stand by the window and just look at each other, though those moments were soon interrupted by Lisa coming in and you going away from the window, to the wall next to it, so that she wouldn't see you. And sometimes you would share messages. But none of them compared to actually being  _with_ him. In his arms.  
  
So when Monday came you could not be more happy. The week was amazing. You found more than once the opportunity to skip some of your classes to go to his office and stay with him. Some times he would come and ask for the permission, from the teacher you were having a lesson with, claiming that he had to talk to you about your papers or something like that. Other times you would say that you were not feeling well and that you wanted to go to the nurse, only to go to him. You hated lying, even to your teachers, but luckily you did not need to as most of the times you asked for the permission to go to the nurse from Sam, who of course knew everything, so he allowed you to leave.  
  
And then there were moments during his lesson when he would look at you for more time that he should, unable to break your gaze, and you did not dare to look away from him; a small smile on your lips every time. Sometimes when he handed you anything his hands would intentionally brush with yours, lingering for a while more and you would bite your lip, trying to contain yourself from locking your fingers with his or at least running your thumb on his hand. And there were times when he would slip you small, loving letters along with your essays and any other papers or when he would just happen to walk by towards another student. His hands behind his back, giving it to you secretly so that nobody would see. And he managed that. But you could not manage hiding the big smile or blush that crept up your cheeks when you read the small notes.  
  
 _You look so beautiful today_  one of them said.  
  
 _How come that you look so radiant even in your casual clothes?_  one more said.  
  
 _Damn, stop smiling the way you do or else I won't be able to keep myself from shouting that I love you!_  another said.  
  
 _God, I could stare into those eyes forever._  one had written.  
  
 _Don't look at me that way, I lose my focus!_  yet another said.  
  
 _You have no idea how much I want to hold you right now._  another one said.  
  
 _I love you baby girl. I really really love you_ the latest one had written on it.  
  
And then it was after the class had ended when you would stay in the classroom with him to talk a little bit, share a kiss or hug him; you really wanted to feel him close to you. You did that as often as possible, trying to use even those few minutes together. Caroline usually waiting outside the door; checking if somebody was coming or if it was time for you to go. You were really grateful to her for her help. She really was a good friend and you could not be more happy to have met her. Not only because she was helping you now but because of her you had made the right decision. And it was. No matter how many people would disapprove or how many people you would hurt. Though you preferred not to think about it, because it made you feel guilty and bad as well just at the thought of what your father would say or think of you.  
  
So you just decided to brush the thought off, no matter how hard that was, and tried to enjoy your moments with Dean. Moments  like the two of you making your way back from school together, sometimes even linking hands and locking fingers when you were sure that nobody was around or looking. Talking about random things or just walking in silence because even that  felt comfortable with him. Your eyes locking sometimes when both of you turned to look at each other, which happened a lot, soft smiles breaking on both your faces and him leaning down to give your a small peck on the lips (again when nobody was around), you leaning to his side some times; resting your head on his shoulder.  
  
Yes, those moments were the best. Those and when you visited him, whether it was to give him an essay you had forgotten on purpose or something that your father wanted you to give him, whether it was some sort of key for the church (Dean kept it for safety purposes)  or some kind of tool for the garden that your father had borrowed. All those times you found the opportunity to stay for a little while, in his embrace hugging and cuddling on the couch, kissing and just gazing into each others eyes. Something that you certainly did not expect from Dean Winchester. No matter how tough he seemed most of the time, even with you, there were moments when he would just want to be a soft-y. And all those happened when Lisa was not home.  
  
Lisa  
  
You were feeling bad about her, but each time Dean noticed that you were thinking and not talking much, knowing what was going through your mind, he tried to reassure you. To make you feel better. To assure you that it was not your fault that he was cheating on her, that even if he had not realized that he had feelings for you he would end his marriage sooner or later. Because, and he was 100% sure about that, he and Lisa had no future together. He could not imagine himself spending the rest of his life with her anymore and he could not imagine himself happy with her. Not anymore. No. Because he could see it clearly now, the way he imagined himself happy was with you.  
  
~~~  
  
You let out a sigh as you finished your homework. Shutting your book you rubbed your eyes and got up from your chair; stretching.  
  
You looked at the clock to see that it was already midnight. Luckily it was Friday and you had no school the following day so you could sleep through most of the day if you wanted to.   
  
Now, you would not have to stay up until this time of the night to do your homework but you could not have said no to the opportunity offered to your earlier the day. You father wanted you to give Dean some from the pie you had both made and you could not say no, knowing that Lisa was still away visiting some other friends of hers that she had not seen in a while. So you ended up spending a little more time with him also because of the fact that your father was not at home but had gone at the church. It's been almost two weeks and a half since you both started seeing each other and, just like him, you could not get enough of each other. And so here you were, just having finished your homework at 12 o' clock at night.  
  
You sighed heavily and turned to look out of the open window, hoping that you would see him before going to bed. But unfortunately, although you waited, he did not come into his bedroom.  
  
Sighing you went to your bathroom to have a shower. You took your time and tried to relax and once finishing it, you changed in your pjs and exited the bathroom, making your way to your bed, really in need of sleep. The towel  was over your head, you bending and drying your hair. Once there were almost no droplets falling and your hair felt less wet and more dry, you removed the towel and straightened, looking up and right ahead. Outside your open window.   
  
But you soon wished you hadn't done so.  
  
Your eyes widened and the towel dropped from your hands. You felt tears well up in your eyes but you tried to keep them from rolling. No, it couldn't be true. You could not believe it.  
  
There in Dean's room was Dean pressed against the closed door by Lisa, both kissing roughly. Her hands on his shirt unbuttoning it and removing it as fast as she could, while Dean's hands were on her waist, gripping tightly as it seemed. They both moved away from the door, never stopping the kissing, and made their way towards where the bed was and-  
  
You could not take it anymore. You quickly made your way to your window, tears now rolling down your cheeks, and shut it with a loud thud, closing the curtains afterwards. You then fell to your bed where you laid, sobs shaking your whole body, tears rolling down your cheeks, clenching the wet-from-the-tears pillow, curled up in a ball.  
  
And you wished, with all your heart, for it to be over. For the pain to be over. For all of it to be just a dream. A nightmare from which you would soon wake up and then go to Dean to hear him tell you how much he loves you and that  _you_ are his one and only. Things that he has told you many times before but... he obviously meant none of them. Because obviously you were nothing but a break from his routine as a husband. Everything he told you was obviously a lie. Everything you believed in was a 'dream'...  
  
... but what you saw was not a dream. It was not a nightmare...  
  
... it was real.


	12. Chapter 11

~ Next morning ~  
  
Dean groaned as he was pulled out of his peaceful sleep. He tried to open his eyes but the light that hit his face made his headache worse.  
  
"This is going to be one hell of a hangover" he thought and turned side so that the light from the window would no longer hit his face.  
  
A hell of a hangover for sure.  
  
Considering the amounts of alcohol he had consumed the night before, of course. And, well, it was not his fault. More like Lisa's, but he could not say no. She insisted that they had a few drinks at their place to celebrate their anniversary and Dean could not refuse doing so, after having forgotten to buy a present. Not to mention that he had even forgotten that it was their anniversary. And that had happened just because of you. The only thing in his mind.  
  
Though there was something else in his mind this morning too. What had happened last night. He remembered clearly, despite the huge amount of alcohol he had consumed, Lisa trying to get him to bed with her. He remembered clearly how they both entered their bedroom and then she surprised him by pushing him against the door and kissed him with passion, while in the meantime working with unbuttoning his shirt.  His hands immediately went to her waist, gripping tightly and trying to push her away. However that was kind of hard considering how drunk Dean was and how difficult it was for him to really control his body, and thus gather the strength to push her away.  
  
He remembered her leading him. or more like dragging him. to the bed and that's when realization hit him. He immediately pushed her away, using whatever excuse came to his mind. He knew that he could not do that to you, he loved you. And, then, he remembered Lisa smiling and telling him that it was alright and that she could help. He knew what she meant by 'help', especially with the way that she was touching him when he sat on the bed, but of course he kept saying 'no'; knowing that Lisa would stop and understand. He hoped so, at least, but then-  
  
\- then everything seemed blurry, while the room kept spinning, and then the only thing he remembered is darkness. Which is comforting, knowing that he did not do something that he would definitely regret because-  
  
Another groan broke his trail of thoughts. He tensed for a while but then realized that (even if he did not want it) Lisa slept at the same bed with him...  
  
 _For the time being_  he added in his mind.  
  
A hand made its way to his bare chest.  
  
 _Bare?_  
  
She probably had removed his shirt so that he would be more comfortable.  
  
Yeah, that's right. Comfortable.  
  
Dean groaned and turning he tried to remove her hand from where it was. Luckily he succeeded.  
  
She giggled slightly and Dean opened his eyes, only to lock with hers.  
  
"Good-morning handsome" she smiled at him and Dean tried to return it.  
  
"Good-morning" he said back "How did you sleep?" he asked.  
  
"Good. Well, considering the little amount of sleep that I got, of course" she giggled and Dean frowned.  
  
He did not like the sound of that. Not at all.  
  
"What do you mean exactly?" he asked getting up a little bit.  
  
"Well, you know after our 'special' night, I did not get much sleep. I could not stop you either, though" she laughed slightly.  
  
"No. We- we didn't-" Dean's eyes widened.  
  
"Oh yes we did" she leaned in and pecked Dean's lips, who could not move an inch "It was amazing by the way, baby" she finished and got out of the bed.  
  
Dean stood there in his place, too stunned to even move.  
  
No he couldn't, he couldn't have done such a thing. He couldn't...  
  
~*~ Time skip to Sunday morning ~*~  
  
Dean groaned as he got up from the bed, stretching, and tried to get the sleep out of his eyes. He didn't even so bother to look at Lisa's sleeping form as he made his way to his bathroom and did his usual morning routine. Truth being that he wanted to get out of the house as quickly as possible.    
  
And of course see you.  
  
He hadn't been able to see you at all yesterday no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to see you and tell you everything that had had happened because he did not want to keep secrets from you. And although he was afraid what your reaction would be, he was willing to risk telling you what happened between him and Lisa wishing that you would understand that he was really drunk and did not even know what he was doing,  _if_  he had done anything. Because he was seriously starting to doubt that he had anything, seeing as he remembered nothing.  
  
Walking down the stairs in his clean suit he grabbed his keys and made his way opposite the road where Sam was waiting for him. He looked to his left hoping that he would catch you walking out of your house but no such thing happened. Letting out a defeated sigh he walked towards Sam, who saw the look n his brother's face and asked what was going on.  
  
On the way to the church Dean explained everything that had happened that Friday night to the morning after and how he had not seen you even get out of your house for a second, that day, which really got him worried.  
  
"And why are you worried?" Sam asked his brother as the got closer to the church.  
  
"I don't know man." Dean let out a sigh "I just... I mean it cannot be just a coincidence that she has not gotten out of her house" they both entered the church.  
  
"Or her room for that matter. I asked Kieran and he told me that she has not even been talking" Dean said as both him and Sam walked down the aisle of the almost empty church, apart from the few people seating here and there and...  
  
Dean's eyes fell upon the (h/l) (h/c) curls of the person he wanted to see more than anyone. They walked by you, Dean's eyes never leaving you, and locking with yours once you looked up from your hands. The somewhat sad and hurt look on your face turning into a cold, stoic one.  
  
Dean did not break eye contact even when he and Sam sat at the other side of the aisle, a few rows ahead. He kept looking you in the eyes, frowning, eyes pleading for you to give him a sign that everything was alright. But you didn't and you abruptly turned your head to look down at your hands again. Dean could swear that he felt his heart crack at that moment but swallowing the lump in his throat he turned his head and looked down at his hands. His question now answered.  
  
After a few seconds of staying like that, Dean heard movement behind him and turned his head to see you get up and quickly make your way out of the church. And so Dean immediately followed you, ignoring his brother's questioning looks.  
  
Dean all but ran to catch up with you but luckily managed to do so. He grabbed you by your arm and made you turn to him.  
  
"What?!" you asked feeling angry but above all hurt.  
  
Dean let go of your arm and looked down "Sorry" he mumbled.  
  
You let out a sigh "No. I'm sorry." you said and he looked up at you "Mr. Winchester" you completed and he cringed at the formalities.  
  
Dean hesitated for a while but then got some courage and spoke "You saw us, right?" he said in a low voice.  
  
You straightened up "Yes" you said with no emotion.  
  
Dean run a hand down his face and then looked at you again "Look (y/n) you have to listen to me. I-" he started but you cut him off.  
  
"No, Mr. Winchester. You have to listen to me... It's ok." you said and he looked at you frowning "It's ok that you did what you did.  _She_ is your wife. And I am nothing to you. You do not have to apologize for anything. And above all, you do not have to apologize for playing with my feelings" you said and he opened his mouth to speak.  
  
But you put a hand up to stop him and continued "It's not your fault. You just wanted a break from your routine as a married man and nothing more. So what a better way than try your luck with the young girl that lives next door and will surely fall head over heels for you. Some action and suspense, trying not to get caught, hm?" you asked sarcastically "It's ok though. It's not your fault. It's entirely up to me. It's entirely my fault that I allowed myself to fall in love with you. It's entirely my fault that I believed that even in the slightest you would love someone like me, that you would have feelings even in the slightest for me.  It's entirely my fault that I fell for all the things you said. And it's entirely my fault that I believed all those things because I- I wanted them to be true. More than anything I wanted them to be true. But they were nothing but lies. And it's ok... It's ok that you lied and played with me like I was nothing. It's ok..." you ended up saying in a low voice; tears rolling down your cheeks and Dean felt tears well up in his eyes at the sight of you feeling hurt because of him.  
  
"It's ok..." you gave him a sad smile, through the tears and before Dean could say anything you turned and ran away from him.   
  
And at that moment Dean knew what you felt. Heartbroken.  
  
~~~  
  
 _A week later..._  
  
And so the rest of the week passed. With him being heartbroken and you not knowing what to feel.  
  
Of course you were heartbroken, hurt and sad. Everything that you believed in, that you wanted so much to believe in, was a lie. But you could not help it either. You could not help still loving him. You could not help still wanting to be with him and you could not help still wishing for it to be a bad dream from which you would wake up soon. Because as much as it hurt you, you still loved him with all your heart. Or more like, with all the broken pieces of your heart.  
  
Letting out a sigh you walked down the almost empty hallway of your school. Finally it was Friday, and you would not have to watch him every day. Him or the hurt look on his face every time you refused to make eye contact, only because you knew that if you looked into those green eyes you would immediately either break down or give in. Whichever came first. Though you found yourself most of the time wishing that he would do something or that at least he felt something when looking into your eyes, because then that would mean that he felt something and-  
  
You shook your head trying to brush the thought off. And so you did every time your hopes got up, most of the times because of the looks he gave you.  
  
"Stop getting your hopes up, (y/n)" you murmured to yourself as you made your way to your locker.  
  
You took some books from there end before you could turn and go away, a voice stopped you "Hey, (y/n)".  
  
You looked to your left to see Sam approaching you in a haste.  
  
You smiled at him and said "Good-morning Sam"  
  
"Good- good morning" he said trying to catch his breath after the running.  
  
"Jogging?" you asked with a giggle and he just shot you a bitch-face.  
  
"No" he said and took a deep breath "I uhm, wanted to talk to you..."  
  
"... about Dean" he completed and your smile vanished.  
  
You cleared your throat and after avoiding eye contact for a while you looked up at him and spoke "Look Sam, I told him that it's ok and  that-" he cut you off.  
  
"I know what you told him (y/n) but I think you should know something else too." he took in a deep breath and explained everything that Dean had told him that morning when they made their way to the church. Including Dean's state these days. How he had started drinking more and talking less, bottling his feelings up and not doing anything but staring out of the window, when he was at home, or at some specific item and shaking his head from time to time, running a hand down his face and mumbling incoherent things.  
  
"And it's worrying me (y/n). Because although I know this is because of what happened between you two, I never thought it would be this bad." Sam explained and you looked down at your feet "So please (y/n). Please. Believe me, it's the truth. Even  _if_  something like that happened between him and Lisa, what Dean has told you is true. He loves you, (y/n). More than Lisa, more than anything else. And he cannot live without you, I can see it for myself. Please think about it. I know it's killing you... both, to be apart" he finished with a sympathetic smile and you looked down at your hands. Tears welling up in your eyes, not knowing what to do anymore.  
  
You wanted more than anything to believe what Sam was saying, what Dean had said. But if you did, then who would assure you that it was not a lie. That he was not trying to get you back just so that he would continue his game.  
  
 _If_  it was a game. Because as much as you tried to suppress the thought and as much as you wanted it to be true, there it was. The thought of him really being in love with you. The thought of him still wanting you more. The thought of everything he had told you... being true and not just a game.  
  
Because if it wasn't, would Sam not tell you something? Sam was a good friend and you trusted him so what he was telling could not be a lie...  
  
 _... could it?_


	13. Chapter 12

The day unfortunately went by rather slowly. You could not wait for the last period so that you could see him and give him a sign or tell him that you wanted to be with him, after having talked with Sam and him having told you everything.  
  
But, of course, luck was not with you this day because once the last period came instead of Dean walking in it was Ric, having come to tell you that you were not going to have a lesson with Dean because he was absent. You sighed, looking down at your books.  
  
"So much for wanting to see him..." you mumbled.  
  
~*~ Time skip ~*~  
  
You let out a long sigh closing yet another book, finding it impossible to concentrate on homework or anything else for that matter. The only thing on your mind was him. You wanted to see him but of course you had no such luck because even though you had left the window open, his was completely closed and nobody seemed to be inside.  
  
Your trail of thoughts was soon broken by the bell ringing and it made you frowned.  
  
Who would come at - you looked at the clock - 7:30 pm in the afternoon?  
  
"(Y/n) come on, our guests are here" your father's voice was heard from the other side of the door.  
  
You got up from your chair and opening the door, you made your way out of your room and down the stairs.  
  
"Guests? What guests are you-" you started but trailed off as soon as you reached the end of the stairs and looked at the door see the person you wanted to see the most.   
  
Of course. How could you have forgotten? Whenever Lisa was here and not away shooting some movie, your father would invite her, Dean and Sam for dinner. Usually on Fridays.  
  
"Hello Kieran" Lisa said handing your father a bottle of wine and breaking yours and Dean's gaze.  
  
"Hello Lisa, welcome back" your father smiled at her "Please come in" he motioned for her and Dean to come in.  
  
"Where is Sam? I thought he would come with you" you father said giving you the wine and you placed it on the table.  
  
"Uh he, he was not feeling alright. Said he would not be able to make it" Dean answered and then Lisa noticed you.  
  
"Oh (y/n), hello" she smiled at you, giving you a small hug.  
  
"Hey Lisa" you gave her a small smile and glanced at Dean, who immediately avoided eye contact.  
  
"Please take a seat" your father said and you all sat on the couches at the living room.  
  
And so the conversation began.   
  
Your father talking with Lisa and occasionally with Dean, who did not really seem in the mood to talk. Proving that what Sam had told you about his bad state was true. He was not ok and it was obvious. So then that meant that what he had told you before that, about Dean truly loving you, was... true. You were so focused on your thoughts that you had not realized that you were staring at him. Luckily neither your father nor Lisa seemed to notice, however Dean, who was not participating in the conversation, turned to look at you; locking eyes. And for a moment you could swear that you saw pain written in them and could see him pleading for you to do something. You broke eye contact and looked, frowning, down at your hands.   
  
You wanted to do something. You needed to do something. But what? What could you do so that-  
  
"And what about the sweet young lady here?" Lisa's voice broke your trail of thoughts.  
  
You looked up at her, frowning "Yes?"   
  
"Why do you seem so deep in thoughts tonight?" she asked with a smirk.  
  
You opened your mouth, glancing at Dean for a second, and taking a breath you spoke "I'm- Just thinking some things" you smiled; shrugging.  
  
"Some things or  _some_ body?" she smirked more and Dean seemed to stiffen at that.  
  
"I-I" you tried to explain though you ended up stuttering and she cut you off.  
  
"Because I saw you being really close with a cute guy today at school, when I came to take some papers Dean needed" she smiled at you and you sighed in relief, glad that she knew nothing about you and Dean, though you saw Dean doing the exact opposite. His gaze seemed to harden, his eyes getting more dark, his jaw and hands clenching.  
  
Was he jealous?  
  
"I-I... Kol and I were just talking. We- we are just... friends" you ended up mumbling, not seeming believable even in the least bit, glancing at your father's direction for a while.  
  
"Really?" Lisa looked at your father too "Oh, ok then. We'll talk about this later" she winked at you and Dean seemed to stiffen even more, lips pursed and eyes narrowed at you.  
  
Your father cleared his throat "Yeah, you should talk about this later." he said "After  _we_  talk about it." he gave you a look and you looked down at your hands.  
  
"Anyway" your father chuckled, putting a hand over yours; showing how supportive he was of whatever you did. Fact that you were more than happy about. He got up and continued speaking "How about we get to the table, I think it's high time we ate" he smiled.  
  
You all got up and made your way to the dining room and the big table set in the middle of it. Your father in the middle, you on the left and Dean and Lisa on the right of your father and opposite you. Your father took hold of the wine bottle and before you could sit he told you to go bring the salad and the large baking pan with the baked potatoes and meat.  
  
"Ok" you said and said after taking the extra set of plates, meant for Sam who did not come "Could you help me?" you asked turning to look at Dean.  
  
He all but was stunned, eyebrows raised in almost-shock, but he tried to brush it off "Me?" he asked pointing to himself.  
  
You nodded "Yes, the baking pan is heavy for me and we could not leave our guests alone" you said and turned to give Lisa a smile.  
  
"O-ok" Dean said and clearing his throat he followed you towards the kitchen, closing the door behind his as you both entered. Completely off site for Lisa and your father.  
  
Your father managed to open the bottle of wine. He filled a glass for himself, Dean's glass following suit, filing yours a little bit and then turning to fill Lisa's.  
  
"Oh no, no Kieran I'm not drinking tonight" she put a hand to stop him, giving him a polite smile.  
  
"Oh how come?" Kieran asked a little bit astonished.  
  
"You'll see" she smiled "But for now, I'l just have water. That's all" she said and Kieran put the bottle of wine down.  
  
"Alright then" he smiled, and looking at the table he saw that there was no bottle of water there "I'll go bring you some" he said and was about to make his way to the kitchen.  
  
But Lisa stopped him "No, Kieran it's ok. I'll go take it myself, I know the place very well after all" she smiled.  
  
~ Meanwhile in the kitchen ~  
  
Dean cleared his throat, not daring to make eye contact, and came to take the baking pan from your hands, on the counter. But as soon as he grabbed it you put a hand on his, making him stop.  
  
He looked at you but you just kept looking down at the food "You didn't come today at school" you mumbled.  
  
Dean let out a small sigh "I was not feeling ok" he murmured and tried to take the pan but you stopped him once again.  
  
"I wanted to see you" you looked up at him "Talk to you" you mumbled, your faces inches apart.  
  
His eyes scanned your face for a while and swallowing the lump in his throat Dean took a deep breath, trying not to let his hopes get up.  
  
"A-about wh-what?" he asked, his voice breaking. Wishing and fearing that you'd say what he thought you would.  
  
"Us" you mumbled and Dean inhaled sharply.  
  
You looked down at your feet "I... I talked with Sam" you looked up at him again "He told me everything"  
  
Dean started breathing heavily, trying to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks. You could not be saying such a thing now. Not  _now_.  
  
He opened his mouth to speak but you beat him at it "And... and I believe him. I believe what he told me... what you told him. And even if anything happened... it's ok. It's ok because all I want is to be with you. Because I love you, more than anything and cannot live without you... I can't..." you ended up mumbling and Dean could not utter a word.  
  
He had so many things to say. He wanted to. He needed to. Because he needed you. Like he needed the air in his lungs. He could not live without you either. He did not want  _live_  without you...  
  
... but people do things that they do not want, too.  
  
"Please... say something" you said in a whisper-y and weak voice, and looked up at him with your big (e/c) eyes, biting your lip and trying to keep the tears from rolling. In vain though, since some tears had started running down your cheeks already.  
  
"I-I" no words could form. No words to explain. No words but four small ones "I love you too" he said and a sob escaped your throat, you almost chocking on your tears.  
  
"I love you too, baby girl. More than anything and I cannot live without you either... I can't..." he mumbled and without hesitating for a second he cupped your face and closed the remaining distance between you, crashing his lips to yours. The tears stopped rolling down your cheeks and you brought your hands up to his neck, kissing him back with all your love, grabbing him by the hem of his shirt and pulling him closer.  
  
You kept kissing him with as much passion as possible, ignoring your lungs protesting for air. You did not care. You did not care about anything else but him. And you could not think about anything else but his lips on yours, kissing you like there was no tomorrow, and his hands bringing you as close as possible. And you would have continues if it wasn't for...  
  
... a glass breaking.  
  
 _Wait what?_  
  
You both immediately pulled away, eyes wide, and turned to look at the kitchen island from where one of the glasses had fallen. And now it lay down into small broken pieces.  
  
You looked at it and then back at each other.  
  
"It must have been on the edge of the table and fell off" you said trying to find a possible explanation.  
  
"But the door?" Dean asked looking at the slightly open door.   
  
"You... may have not closed it properly and we just did not notice it" you said trying once again to find an explanation for it.   
  
Anything but the possibility of someone having come in and saw you. And that someone being your father or Lisa.  
  
Dean nodded hesitantly, trying to believe that that was the case, and then turned to look at you "We should get going" he mumbled, looking from your eyes to your lips and back at your eyes.  
  
You gave a small nod "Yes, yes we should" you said in a low voice, and after leaning up to give him a final small kiss, you pulled away quickly, grabbed the salad and turned to walk out of the kitchen.   
  
It took Dean a few moments to follow you, eyes closed for a few seconds, trying to savior the feeling of your lips on his. The feeling of your kiss. The feeling he would definitely  _miss_.  
  
After taking a deep breath he made his grabbed the pan and followed you to the dining room, setting it in the middle of the room next to the salad. Taking a seat next to Lisa and opposite you, as you did the same.  
  
"So" Lisa started and both you and your father looked at her, as she put a hand on Dean's "Before we start dinner I would like to make an announcement. Kieran, (y/n), you know that both of you are like a family to Dean and I. No, you  _are_  family. And, although I would like Sam to be here so that he could hear what I have to say, I'm either way saying it to you..." she took in a deep breath, looking for a moment at Dean who was frowning and expecting her announcement "... Dean and I..." she took in another deep breath.  
  
"... are expecting a baby. I'm pregnant" she finished smiling.


	14. Chapter 13

You felt your heart stop as soon as Lisa finished her sentence.  
  
She was pregnant. With Dean's child.  
  
You found it hard to even breath. You looked at Dean who seemed exactly as stunned as you were though there was something else in his eyes, something else that you could not point your finger at.  
  
"That's..." your father's voice broke your trail of thoughts "That's amazing Lisa, congratulations." he said, smiling; although it seemed forced.  
  
"Thank you Kieran" Lisa smiled more.  
  
"So I take it that Dean you were... really happy when you found out, hm?" your father asked Dean.  
  
He took a few deep breaths and clearing his throat he decided to speak "I... I, no, I just found out" he laughed awkwardly, though it was obvious that it was fake.  
  
"Really?" you father looked at him frowning and then down at the table; as if thinking something.  
  
But then he glanced at you and upon seeing your pale face, no emotion on it, he spoke "(Y/n) are you ok?"  
  
You looked up at him and tried to form words "I-I 'm not feeling really well... I-" you said but he cut you off.  
  
"Well if you want, better go to your room and rest" he gave you a small smile; as if reading your mind.  
  
"Yeah yeah I'd better" you said and slowly got up from your chair.  
  
"Drink some water, it will make you feel better" Lisa told you with a  _smile_  and you nodded hesitantly.  
  
After mumbling a low 'goodnight' you slowly made your way upstairs feeling Dean's worried gaze on you... as well as somebody else's.   
  
After a while the conversation downstairs continued, but you closed the door and put your headphones on, not wanting to hear what they were saying downstairs. But just as you turned the music up louder you missed what your father asked them...  
  
"So why are you moving out of town then?"  
  
~~~  
  
You slowly felt yourself being pulled out of your sleep by someone shaking your shoulder.  
  
"(Y/n). Wake up" your father's voice was heard, making you slowly and painfully open your eyes.  
  
The light hit your face and made you groan more. You opened you eyes and after a while of them adjusting to the light you saw the frowning face of your father.  
  
"Dad?" you slowly mumbled "What is it?"  
  
"That's what  _you_  should tell me (y/n)" he said and you frowned more.  
  
You got up in a seating position and tilted your head "What do you mean?"  
  
He sighed and looked at you with pain-filled eyes "What is it (y/n)?" he asked and you frowned more "What's bothering you?" he said and put a cold hand on your cheek.  
  
No. It wasn't his hand that was cold, your face was warm. Really warm.  
  
"Wh-what do you m-mean?" you asked, your voice trembling, knowing very well what he meant.  
  
"You're not ok (y/n). And I can see it. Last night you ate nothing and when I came upstairs to bring you some food you were already asleep but... your face seemed tear stained. Were you crying?" he asked worry evident in his face.  
  
"I-I was not..." you started but trailed off as soon as you looked him in the eyes, finding yourself unable to lie to him. You looked down at your hands, lips pursed, and gave him a small and hesitant nod.  
  
He sighed, and slightly shaking his head, he moved closer to you "Why (y/n)? Why were you crying? What made you cry so much as to make the pillow, almost, completely wet? What is bothering you?" he put a hand on top of yours and you looked at him for a moment but then again down at your hands and did not say a word.  
  
Kieran sighed once again and rubbed your hand with his "It's ok if you don't want to tell me. I know..." he trailed off and you looked up at him, eyes almost wide, wondering what he meant by 'know'. Soon your question was answered.  
  
"I know that it is hard for you to share your feelings with me, especially concerning your love life. Because I can clearly see it that that's what it has to do with. And I know..." he let out another sigh "...that if your mother was here, alive, everything would be better. Everything would feel better. And you would have someone to talk to, openly. But... she's not here. And I'm sorry for that (y/n)." he said and you immediately looked up at him.  
  
"Dad it was not your fault. What are you apologizing for? " you asked frowning.  
  
"I'm apologizing for not being able to protect her, so that now you would have here by your side. So that you would not feel alone." he started and you cut him off.  
  
"Dad, you could not have done anything to save her. It's ok. What happened is over and we should not think of what we could have done. Besides, I'm sure she's happy up there. And she's as much happy as I am for having you still here, for you being my father. And... I thank God for that every single day of my life" tears by now had started rolling down your cheeks.  
  
He wiped out a few of them and hugged you "And I thank God for you being my daughter. I could not ask for a greater gift from Him in my life" he said with a smile.  
  
"And..." he started saying again after you both pulled away "I want you to know that whatever is bothering you... I trust you. I trust that you will make the right decision. I know that you will. And I will support every single decision of yours. No matter what" he gave you a final smile and you nodded slowly, a smile forming on your lips too.  
  
"Thanks dad" you said in a low voice.  
  
"No problem honey. You know I'm always here for you" he brushed a few stray tears off your cheeks "Now get up, take a shower if you want and come downstairs. Breakfast is awaiting." he got up and made his way to the door "And I made (Favorite Breakfast), so better hurry" he finished with a smile.  
  
"You're amazing dad" you said with a big smile.  
  
"I try" he chuckled and turned to walk to the door.   
  
As soon as he opened it your voice made him stop "Dad?" it had a small hint of sadness in it.  
  
He turned to look at you "Can I ask you a question?" you asked him and he nodded "Of course"  
You looked for a few seconds down at your hands and then back at him "Why... why do we, people, fall for the wrong ones?"  
  
He smiled a little bit, or more like smirked a little bit, and spoke "People don't fall for the wrong ones. They just... make the wrong decisions. As a result, they cannot see that the person they've fallen for is the right one.  Because those decisions do't let them. So if you ask me, we don't fall for the wrong people, we just make the wrong decisions while all we have to do, is to make the right ones.  You don't know if the person you have fallen for is the right one or not until you reach the end. Until you make the right decision" he said and you gave a small nod and then looked down at your hands, a tear rolling down your cheek, as your father exited the room; closing the door behind him.  
  
"And sometimes... all it takes is for someone to help us make that right decision..." he mumbled to himself, a smile on his lips.  
  
~*~ Time skip to next morning ~*~  
  
You slowly opened your eyes to see the morning light hit your face. You squinted your eyes and looked at the clock on the wall. You frowned, seeing as it was already 10:30, wondering how come your father had let you sleep in. Every Sunday he would wake you up early so that you could go to church with him. But obviously he hadn't done so today. Maybe because of the fact that you staid in your room almost all day yesterday and you did not so much as say a word to him after your conversation that morning.  
  
It was not your fault. You just wanted to think. You wanted to stay in the silence of your room and think. Think about Dean and what you should do with him. The same thought running through your mind again and again. Lisa was pregnant. With his child. And that meant that he had indeed slept with her that night. But, as strange as that might sound, it was not that fact that bothered you. Well, it did bother you but not as much as it would if he was not completely drunk and did know what he was doing. And Lisa was his wife, for two years now, so you could not question the fact that he had slept with his wife. Even though that hurt you.  
  
What bothered you though was that it was  _his_  child that she carrying. And even if Dean loved you - you were trying not to think otherwise, even though you did - he would never be able to leave his wife, his family for you. And even if he did, because (once, he had said   that that's what he would do) you would not let him. You would not let him abandon his family. And you would not let him abandon Lisa and everything else for you. Because no matter how much it hurt you, you were willing to sacrifice everything you two had. Despite the fact that it tore you apart to not be with him, you could not do that to him, Lisa and his unborn child. You could not be selfish when you loved him this much. You should think what is the best for him even if he did not know it.  
  
You sighed as you finished you morning routine. Walking down the stairs you noticed that your father had already gone to the church. You grabbed the keys and exited your house, locking the door behind you and making your way to the church. Not so much as daring to look at the direction Dean's house was, to see if he was there. You already knew that Dean would be at the church with Sam and you were happy. You were happy because you would see him and get the chance to speak to him. You speak to him and... end things once and far all.  
  
The mere thought made you tear up and, even if you thought that you would not have any more tears to shed, so you tried your best to keep them from rolling down. The only comforting thing being the fact that you would at least see him every day at school, and after a while he would be happy - you hoped so. And then, maybe, you would be happy... and sad at the same time, knowing that you two would not be together.  
  
You took in a deep breath and entered the church, looking around and searching for your father. But he was nowhere to be seen. And neither was Dean. Fact that made you frown. You walked towards Sam's side and, as soon as he noticed you, he looked up at you. His face showing more sadness and pain than before.  
  
"Sam?" you looked at him frowning, and worrying.  
  
"Hello (y/n)" he gave you a sad smile  
  
"Sam what's-" you started but he cut you off.  
  
"You got to say goodbye, hm?" he asked with the same sad look.  
  
"Goodbye? What goodbye?" you frowned more.  
  
"To Dean" he said simply "He and Lisa are moving out of town for good."   
  
"They are what?!" you said in a high voice, not even realizing it.  
  
"Yes" Sam frowned "I thought you knew and said goodbye to him this morning, before me. They should be leaving by now and-" Sam started but immediately stopped as he saw you suddenly turn and ran out of the kitchen.  
  
You ran. Like never before. Your lungs protesting but you did not pay attention even in the least bit. You had no time to pay attention to anything else. Not even your blurry, from the tears, sight. Or your legs which felt as if the were about to give out. You just ran and ran, wishing to reach there on time. Reach there just to say goodbye. Just to see him for one last time. That was all you were asking for. That's all you were wishing for. With all your heart, which now was beating so fast that it felt as if it will come out of your chest.  
  
But nobody seemed to be listening to you that moment because just as you reached your neighborhood you saw a black car speed away from you. Dean's car.  
  
"No" you mumbled, tears rolling down your cheeks "No. No no no no" you shook your head, tears flowing down your cheeks, sobs shaking your whole body.  
  
You fell on your knees looking at the way the car went. Your eyes wide. Tears rolling down. Never stopping. You stood there for a while. Just staring at the same direction. No emotion written on your face. Blank face. Emotionless, dead eyes staring at one place. Hoping against all odds that he would come back. That the car would return. That he would come back. But no. That was not the case. He was gone. For good. You would not see him ever again. And you had not even gotten the chance to say goodbye. To say how much you loved him for a final time.  
  
"No" was the only thing you could manage at the moment.  
  
"Obviously yes" said a voice behind you.  
  
You turned abruptly at hearing the voice. You thought that your mind was playing games. But no. Not it was not.   
  
You quickly got up and stared at the man in front of you. At the oh-so-green eyes of the man you were hoping with all your heart to see.  
  
You furiously brushed the tears off and rubbed your eyes trying to make your vision more clear, believing that what you saw through your blurry eyes was not true. But, oh, it was.  
  
"Dean?" it came out as a whisper, your voice cracked, throat dry.  
  
"Again-" he smiled "-Obviously yes"  
  
Your eyes widened and you just stared at him for a few moments, unable to say anything "H-how-Wh-what are y-you-?" you could not say much, chocking on some tears.  
  
"I believe I've told you that I don't like it when you cry" he came closer and brushed a few tears with his thumb "Especially for a jerk like me" he said, looking at you with a soft and adoring gaze.  
  
"Y-you" you started stuttering again, finding it unbelievable "That was your car. I saw it leave. How is it possible that you are here?" you manged to breath out.  
  
"You're wrong on that part. That car... is not mine. It is Lisa's. You seem to confuse what is mine with hers. Especially when we have nothing to do with each other" he said with a small smile and you frowned.  
  
But before you could open your mouth to ask what he meant, you saw him extend the other hand that was not cupping your cheeks and hold out what seemed to be a letter.  
  
You frowned but took it nonetheless, your eyes immediately widening as you read it. It may have been small and had not much written on it but it was enough for anyone that read it to understand.  
  
 _She is cheating on you. The child is not yours. Check her messages. There should be a lot from someone called Greg. That's the proof you need. Ask her if you want, too._  
  
You suddenly looked up at him, eyes wide "Is this true?" you managed to say in a low voice and Dean just nodded.  
  
He sighed "I found it at the doorstep as I was about to exit the house and leave. For good." he looked down at the paper in your hands "I read it and you can guess that I was surprised. I asked her, but she denied everything. Only when I attempted to check her phone did she admit it." he gave a dry laugh "Who would have ever thought that she was cheating on me with her co-star" he laughed, hoarsely, shaking his head.  
  
"You're hurt?" it came out more as a question than a statement "That she cheated on you. That the child is not yours" you bit your lips, afraid what the answer would be.  
  
He looked up at you, cupping your face with both his hands "Believe it or not... I was relieved. I don't know who wrote the letter and I don't care. I'm just relieved. Relieved that it is over. Relieved that I will not have to live a life that I will regret every second of. Relieved that Lisa cheated on me, no matter how crazy that might sound. Relieved that what her and I had is finally over. Relieved that we're not together anymore and I won't have to... suffer. Relieved that... I will not leave you behind and not see you again. Relieved that I will be able to be with you."  
  
"Dean..." you started but he stopped you.  
  
"No, please, just hear me out. (Y/n) what we have is above everything. More important than anything else. You are more important than anything else. And I can't leave you (y/n). I can't. You mean so damn much to me that-" he laughed at himself "Talking about chick-flick moments... Anyway" he cleared his throat "I am not leaving this place. And I'm not leaving you. So if you want... we can... We can still try this between us. You know I want it more than anything else. I want you more than anything else. So just think about it. Think about what we can have. I know it will be hard. I know that even though Lisa and I are not together, the fact that your father is a priest, and we both know that he will not approve of us together, might put you off. But (y/n) please think about it. I know you do not want to hurt him, I know that you care for him and I know that his opinion and approval is important to you, but- (y/n)  _please_  don't end what we have so soon. Don't think about others' opinion and-" he would have kept talking but you cut him off.  
  
"Dean!" you exclaimed and he stopped "I don't have to think about anything. I  _want_  to be with you. I love you more than anything and-" this time it was him that cut you off with a kiss, which in the beginning surprised you but then you smiled and kissed him back; arms coming around his neck and...  
  
... and Kieran watched you from the doorstep of his house, with a soft smile on his lips.  
  
~ Kieran's flashback ~  
  
He felt really tired as he walked up the stairs, wanting to sleep more than anything. He passed by your room's door and stopped; turning to knock on your door. He recieved no answer so he pushed the door open and walked into the room. He saw you already asleep but what worried him was the tearstains on your cheeks. And it worried him even more taking into consideration the fact that he had seen you do the same thing a few times lately, even though he did not say anything, not to mention that you were acting really weirdly.  
  
He sat at the side of your bed, putting the covers over you so that you wouldn't get cold and brushing some hair out of your face.  
  
"What's happening to you my dear child..." he asked in a low voice.  
  
"Yeah well- I don't care Greg!" Lisa's voice made Kieran turn to look out of the window at the window of Dean's and Lisa's room; Lisa's shadow evident through the curtains pacing around the room.  
  
"I don't care Greg! If I say that the child is Dean's then so it is. I don't want to hear you say anything about it, or send me any more messages. You know that if you tell Dean about what happened between us then you can be damn sure that I will tell your lovely wife how _faithful_  you were." he heard her say and then he could not hear anymore.   
  
It confused him though. Lisa was pregnant, that was for sure. But who was Greg? How did he know about the child? And the child, it surely could not be Dean's because Lisa was away for at least three months, if he remembered correctly, so then... Greg? Could the child be his? But then that meant that she cheated on Dean. And Kieran now knew the truth. But who was he to get involved?  
No he wouldn't. He made his decision. He would not get inloved. He would not tell Dean about something that he was not even sure about. Because what if he had misheard or just misinterpretated Lisa's words? What if that Greg guy had cheated on his wife with someone else and not Lisa?  
Kieran shook his head to brush any thoughts off. He would not say anything and he wouldn't get involved at all.   
  
End of story.  
  
~ End of flashback ~  
  
And he kept watching you, his beloved daughter, with an older man, showing your love to each other. No it was not just any other man. It was Dean. And that made him smile even more, because he knew that Dean loved you and he would take care of you. No matter what.   
  
He watched as you both pulled away, a bright smile on both your faces, Dean hugging you tightly, kissing your head and saying things in your ear that Kieran could not hear from where he stood. He heard you laugh and he could not feel more happy, seeing  _you_  more happy than ever.  
  
And then Dean looked up at Kieran's way, immediately stopping what he was saying. Fact that made you first look at him frowning and then follow his gaze, your eyes immediately widening upon locking with you father's.  
  
"Dad..." you managed to say, swallowing the lump forming on your throat.  
  
And after what seemed like an eternity of your father staring at you and Dean a smile broke on his face. A sincere one. And you could not believe your eyes. Did that mean that he approved?  
  
He turned to look at Dean and, still smiling, he gave him an approving nod saying something that, from the way his lips moved, seemed to be a "Take care of her..."  
  
"I will..." Dean mouthed, voice low so that you could hear him too.  
  
You smiled at your father as you saw him give an approving nod, again, and smiling he turned to open the door and enter his house.  
  
Just as you and Dean turnd to look at each other, soft smiles on both your faces, eyes full of love and adoration at the sight of each other. And the three words being said by both of you...  
  
... the same words that convinced him to write the letter to Dean. The same three words that had convinced Kieran of your true feelings for each other that Friday night that he had walked in on you and Dean, when you were getting the food for the dinner...  
  
The same three words that you were no longer **forbidden**  to say...  
  
 _The End_


	15. Extended Ending

A/N: This is a few months after the end of Forbidden. Reader is in college/university and Dean has found a job there as a professor.  
~~~  
  
Forbidden - Teacher!Dean x Student!Reader - Sequel  
  
"NO! Hey no, Dean stop!" you managed to say through giggles.  
  
"No, Dean! Stop it! I have to study!" you said half laughing, as your boyfriend-slash-teacher did not stop tickling you.  
  
You were at your dorm, which you shared with Caroline and Elena, but since they were out you had called Dean to come and help you study for your mid-terms. And Dean, not having anything else to do, came to help you like a sweet boyfriend would do.  
  
"Hmm let me think about it..." he stopped for a second and tapped a finger on his chin "No" he smirked and started tickling you again.  
  
"De-dean n-no co-come o-on I-I ha-ve to study! DEAN!" you said, not able to keep your laughter, tears streaming down your cheeks.  
  
"I'm sorry but that's not happening today babe" he smirked more and continued tickling you.  
  
"N-no De-dean please! I-I 'm supposed to b-be studying!" you said through laughter,clenching at your sides and trying to stop him, or at least reason with him to take a break.  
  
"Study? What the hell are you talking about? Who gave you such ideas?" he shook his head and stopped for a while, only to resume shortly after.  
  
"Y-you! I-it's your lesson I'm supposed to be studying for, biology!" you said and then started laughing again.  
  
"Oh right, yeah" he nodded and then pulled away from you "Ok then let's resume to studying" he rested his back against the head of your bed.  
  
"Finally" you sighed in relief, the smile not leaving your face "You really are in the mood today"  
  
"Well, yeah, of course I am. Lisa and I signed the divorce yesterday so that means I'm legally all yours" he gave you a cheeky smile.  
  
"True" you gave him a peck on the lips "And since I'm now 18, I'm legally yours too" you giggled.  
  
You fixed your shirt and straightened your hair, and after brushing a few tears you turned to look at Dean. After he put the book aside he turned to look at you and continued doing what you were before. Asking you questions about how each bone of the human body was named. (Which is what resulted in him being on top of you and tickling you after having poked at your rib and found out how ticklish you were.) You really should not have let him poke your side, but you did not regret it. So you continued.  
  
"Ok so uhm let's see." Dean took your hand in his "What's the name of this?" he pointed at a bone around the place your wrist was.  
  
"That's an easy one. Carpus" you smiled and he did the same.  
  
"Correct" he said and kissed you at that place, as a reward.  
  
"Now, what about this one?" he pointed at the area of your fingers.  
  
"Again, easy. That's metacarpus" you said and he nodded.  
  
"And that?" he pointed at your fingers, but at a different place.  
  
"Phalanges" you said quickly.  
  
"Correct and correct" he said and gave you two kisses at those places.  
  
You giggled at his childlike behavior and he interviewed hands with yours. He looked up and down your arm and then spoke "And what about this one?" he pointed with his other hand at your arm.  
  
"Easy. That's radius. And that's ulna. That's the radius head. And then that's humerus, that's the humeral head, that's the scapula and that's clavicle." you started and then named bone after bone.  
  
"Correct!" Dean gave you a full smile and did not lose time to start kissing up your whole arm but did not stop til he reached your collarbone and then your jawline and finally billow your chin.  
  
"That's mandible" you giggled.  
  
"Hm correct" he mumbled and started kissing you there. Then proceeding to suck and lick it.  
  
You threw your head back, giving him more access, as he continued to lick it, moving a little bit his head and proceeding to lick and suck at your soft spot. You gave a soft moan as he bit it lightly and you could feel his lips pull into a smile.  
  
"Somebody likes studying hm?" he asked through kisses.  
  
You gave a moan in agreement.  
  
"And you like it a lot hm?" he said in a low husky voice, grumbling a little and running a hand a little bit below your shirt.  
  
You purred again in agreement and heard him chuckle, pleased with himself. But then he groaned once you decided to tease him too, by putting and moving a leg in between his.  
  
"And  _you_  like that a lot?" you mocked him, grabbing at his shirt with one hand, the other one behind his back, moving you leg more.  
  
He groaned and pulled away for a moment. You opened your eyes and looked up at his green eyes that were clearly filled with lust. "You're gonna pay for that" he grumbled and you smirked at him.  
  
"I'm waiting for it, professor Winchester" you giggled at him.  
  
"You're going to be the death of me" he groaned and did not wait a second to close the remaining distance between you, crashing his lips to yours.  
  
It was the first time he had kissed you this hungrily and so full of passion (if we exclude the dream) and it made your heart beat even more fast. Dean was always sweet and gentle, always making sure you were ok and felt comfortable with how you two were. But this time he seemed to forget it and not help but attack your lips, biting and sucking occasionally. Your heart was beating rapidly. So rapidly that you though it would come out of your chest . You could not help it though. You knew very well where this was heading to and your hands started shaking at the mere thought. You and Dean had not gone that far in your relationship, even though you were dating for about four to five months, and you really appreciated that he wanted to wait til you felt ready. You really appreciated it and it was one of the things that you loved about him. But you knew that, even though he insisted that he could wait til you were ready, he wanted to take your relationship to the next level. He wanted to be with you in every possible way. To be one with you. And you knew it.  
  
As much as it made you nervous, you knew that Dean would be gentle and take care of you. So you did not hesitate and moved your hands around his neck to bring him closer, as his hands grabbed at your hips to bring you closer. He kissed you feverly, and started playing with the waistband of your sweatpants. Fact that made you gasp in shock.  
  
As soon as he heard you, Dean pulled away and looked at you with an apologizing look "Oh (y/n) I-I'm sorry baby. I didn't want to push you further. I-" he started but you cut him off.  
  
"Dean it's perfectly fine. You have nothing to apologize for. I want to, baby" you gave him a soft smile and he stood like that, not moving, and just staring at you with a small smile on his lips.  
  
"I love you baby" he said after a good few minutes "So  _so_  much" he rubbed a thumb on your cheek.  
  
"I love you too, Dean." you leaned into him, barely a few inches separating you "So  _so_  much" you whispered and closed the distance between you.  
  
The kiss was soft, sweet and full of love. Both you and Dean showing each other how you felt, how much you meant to each other. Dean's hand placed your legs around his waist and then moved to rest on your waist, gripping firmly but not so much as to hurt you. They quickly moved under your shirt and he started kissing down your neck, stopping that the hem of you shirt. But just as he was about to remove it-  
  
\- Caroline's voice was heard.  
  
"Alright and don't forget to call Bonnie and Davina. And bring- erh" she trailed off as soon as she opened the door and both you and Dean immediately pulled away from each other. You fixed your shirt and tried to sooth your hair as Dean ran a hand through his, clearing his throat.   
  
"H-hey Car" you cleared your throat too and tried to soothe your rapidly beating heart, feeling the heat on your cheeks.  
  
"H-hey (y/n). Mr. Winchester" she waved awkwardly and Dean gave her an awkward smile.  
  
"You're back earlier?" you asked her as Dean fixed his loose tie.  
  
"I- I am not back earlier. I told you I'd be back by this time." she said and you looked at the clock to see that more time had passed than you thought.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry. We got caught in-" you started and Dean cut you off.  
  
"Studying. I was helping her study for your mid-terms in biology." he completed your sentence "I believe you have studied Caroline, since they are next week." he smirked at her and Caroline shifted awkwardly.  
  
"I, well, I- Basically I- You know what, I'll go have a shower. You two just- erh... whatever" she waved a hand and shaking her head.  
  
"Talking about awkward" you muttered and Dean chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, well, she'll get over it. Meanwhile" he sighed and got up from your bed, you following suit "I should get going" he said and made his way to the door.  
  
"Ok" you sighed, opening the door for him "Sorry by the way. For... you know, the interruption and all" you said looking down at your feet, putting a few strands of hair behind your ear.  
  
"You don't have to apologize for anything, princess" he cupped your cheek and gave you a small smile "Just forget about it. We had fun, even if it was for studying for some damn mid-terms. I can't believe I'm saying this" he shook his head and laughed, as you did the same thing.  
  
"So how about you come by my place later, hm? I'll prepare dinner so that we can eat together for tonight. And then maybe we could talk and even watch a few movies. Maybe up until late at night, since, you know, you don't have lessons tomorrow morning and... yeah..." he trailed off and ran a hand through his hair, nervously.  
  
"You're asking me on a date professor?" you smirked and you could swear you saw him blush.  
  
He opened and closed his mouth multiple times, but found nothing to say.  
  
You giggled slightly and then spoke "Of course Dean. After all it is cute to see you blush when asking me out, even though we're already together" you said.  
  
"What? Pffft me? No!" he tried to play it cool but you did not buy it.  
  
"Ok you know what? I'm older than you  _and_  your professor so you do not dare make fun of me young lady! Or else I'll give you an F!" he warned but you could see he did not mean it.  
  
"Yeah whatever" you rolled your eyes playfully at him "Like hell!"  
  
"Are you sure about that?" he smirked and you raised your eyebrows at him.  
  
"No way! You'd really do that?! I can't believe you Winchester!" you crossed your arms "Now I'm hurt!" you fake-pouted.  
  
Dean chuckled and cupped your face with his hands "Don't worry I'll make it up to you princess. I'll have (Favorite movie) and will prepare (Favorite desert)" he smirked at seeing your eyes lit up.  
  
"You're the best! I love you!" you said with a wide smile and he chuckled.  
  
"I love you too" he said softly and pecked your lips.  
  
Dean cleared his throat and pulled away "Anyway, I better be going or else we won't have anything to eat for dinner. I'll see you at 8 o' clock baby" you gave him a soft smile and nodded. He smiled back and after another kiss he exited the room, making sure that nobody saw him.  
  
You closed the door and rested your head for a moment against it, eyes closed and silence surrounding you. Until of course it was broken by Caroline.  
  
"What the hell (y/n)!?" Caroline said, as soon as she exited the bathroom.  
  
You turned to look at her and frowned "Didn't you have a shower?"  
  
"Of course not (y/n). I just wanted to get out of the awkward situation,  _which_ , by the way, you caused!" she pointed a finger at you.  
  
"Oh come on Caroline, don't be so dramatic!" you rolled your eyes at her.  
  
"Yeah, sure, because it is not awkward to walk in on your roommate do the do with a guy that also happens to be our teacher!" she said-matter-of-factly.  
  
"Come on, Car. What are you 10 years old?" you laughed lightly "Besides, we weren't really doing anything... you got in" you ended up mumbling.  
  
"So you weren't doing anything because  _I_  interrupted you! Ugh, never mind, just don't... get that far here. There are plenty of other places" she shrugged and you looked at her wide-eyed.  
  
"Caroline!" you shouted, feeling the blush rise in your cheeks "We haven't gotten that far, anyway" you mumbled and occupied yourself with gathering the books in the bed.  
  
She mumbled something that sounded "Whatever" and went to open the door for Elena, Bonnie and Davina to come in. Each one of them holding some sort of snacks, pillows and blankets, their pjs and even a few DVDs with movies.   
  
"Girls' time starting right now!" Caroline shouted excited. And so, your evening with the girls started.  
  
You were all dressed in your pjs or most comfortable clothes and sat on the three beds chatting about whatever came to your mind and whatever had happened lately. Which meant that the conversation would soon drift to you and Dean. And it did.  
  
"Soooo (y/n) tell us some spicy news about you and our lovely professor, Mr. Winchester" Davina said smirking at you from where she laid on the bed, on her stomach.  
  
Of course she knew about you and Dean, just like the rest of the girls in the room. But only them, nobody else. You didn't want anybody else to know, not until you finished college of course.  
  
"I- nothing new. He and Lisa signed the divorce papers yesterday so I guess that's just it.  Everything else is just about the way you know them" you shrugged and hugged the pillow, resting against the head of your bed.  
  
"Come on (y/n) we asked about  _spicy_  news. Like..." Elena said pausing for a while "What is it like sleeping with your professor?" she smirked at you and your eyes almost widened. You really wanted to avoid that subject, but you obviously couldn't.  
  
You opened your mouth to speak but Bonnie cut you off "Yeah, have you two gotten steamy at his place? Or even in the classroom?" she smirked at you and all the girls looked at you in the same way, expecting an answer.  
  
"We- we haven't done anything girls. Really..." you said in a low voice and looked down at your hands.  
  
All the girls frowned at you, except Caroline.  
  
"Yeah, like hell! Because you definitely were  _not_  getting steamy a few hours ago before I walked in on you!" she said and you looked at her wide-eyed.  
  
"Caroline!" you screeched.  
  
"What?!" she asked innocently.  
  
"Agh never mind"  you groaned "I'd better get ready" you said and they all looked at you frowning.  
  
"Ready for what?" Davina asked.  
  
"Dean asked me to go by his place tonight. We're going to have dinner and then maybe watch some movie." you said simply.  
  
"So he basically asked you to spent the night at his place?" Elena asked and you nodded, hesitantly, after looking the expression on Caroline's face.  
  
"Yeah, basically" you said slowly and Caroline's eyes immediately widened.  
  
"Oh my Castiel! He wants to have sex with you!" she exclaimed loudly, and you all looked at her wide eyed.  
  
"CAROLINE!" you all said at the same time.  
  
"What?" she asked as if nothing had happened.  
  
"Will you just try to keep it low?!" Bonnie stated.  
  
"Keep what low?" she asked and you all groaned.  
  
"Whatever" you threw your pillow at her "I'll just go get ready" you said and got up, about to go get ready.  
  
"Hey wait!" Caroline said and you turned to look at her "Where are you going?"  
  
"Uhm to find what to wear?" you frowned at her.  
  
"Yeah, but you are definitely not going to do it yourself. Ladies-" she said and turned to look at the girls, her hands on her hips "You know what this means. Time for operation ' _The_  date.' Get ready ladies. We've got job to do" she said and all the girls got up.  
  
"Miss yes miss!" they all saluted and you looked at them as if they were out of their minds.  
  
"Bonnie, Elena. You two go find two perfect pieces. In (y/n)'s style. Davina go get all the accessories to accompany them. I will find the right make up. (Y/n)-" she turned to look at you "You go have a warm and relaxing shower, but don't take to long. Once you're out we will do your hair, so don't bother to dry them. We will." she said and all girls started going to different directions.  
  
You just stood there looking at her, frowning, and trying to understand what was going on.  
  
"Come on! (Y/n), move!!" she said and after handing you a towel she pushed you into the bathroom. You stood like that for a moment, but then shrugged and decided to take a shower. You took your time and relaxed, but after a while decided to get out of the shower.  
  
You walked out of the bathroom with only a towel ready to go take some undergarments and clothes to change. Just as you were about grab some clothes Caroline stopped you.  
  
"Whoa whoa wait right there lady."you turned to look at her, frowning.  
  
"What?" you asked.  
  
"Come here, sit in this chair and just relax. We are going to take care of your hair, make up, manicure and pedicure." she said and made you sit in a chair.   
  
You opened your mouth to speak but she hushed you "Shush, don't speak. And don't worry. You're in good hands" she reassured with a smile.  
  
You got slightly afraid of what she said, but tried to relax. If they were so willing to do your make up, hair and nails then you'd let them. Besides, Bonnie and Davina were really good at it. And even if you did not like it you could change it later. You closed your eyes and leaned at your chair as you let the girls do their job.  
  
After about half an hour Caroline told you to open your eyes and then handed you a small mirror. You looked at it to see that they had actually done a really good job. Your make up was really natural, very light pink lipstick almost the same color as your lips, eye liner and some mascara, almost invisible, and light brown eye shadow. Your hair were curled slightly, and as you looked at your nails you saw a classic French manicure done on them.  
  
"Wow girls this is-" you started but immediately stopped as soon as you looked up from your mirror at Bonnie and Elena holding something that you certainly did not expect. Basically Elena "What the hell?!" you screeched and looked at Caroline wide-eyed.  
  
She just smirked at you "What?" she asked innocently.  
  
"What do you mean by what?! I'm not wearing that Caroline!" you said getting up and motioning to the white, definitely revealing, but still kind-of modest, set of lingerie.  
  
"Oh yes you are!" she smiled at you.  
  
"Oh no I'm not!" you replied in the same voice tone.  
  
"Oh yes you are! Look (y/n)-" she put her hands on your shoulders and looked at you seriously "Tonight, is your special night. And don't deny it. We both know that Dean wants to take your relationship to the next level. Because he loves you. More than anything. So if you want it too, and if you love him as well, then-" she smiled at you "You might as well make it special"  
  
You hesitated for a moment, looking at her and trying to decide. You finally sighed and nodded at her, turning to take them from Elena and then turning to take the white, almost light pink, dress and high heels from Bonnie "Couldn't you at least find a longer dress" you mumbled and Caroline just rolled her eyes.  
  
"Yeah whatever, just go get dressed already" she said and shoved you into the bathroom.  
  
You quickly got dressed, and after exiting the bathroom and the girls wishing you good luck (and Caroline telling you to have fun - of course not meaning anything innocent) you got out of the room and made your way to Dean's place. It wasn't that far away from campus so you just walked til there.  
  
After about ten minutes you reached his place. You knocked on the door and after a few seconds Dean came to open it. He was well-dressed, in dark blue suit, white shirt and black tie. He looked at you wide-eyed, opening and closing his mouth several times.  
  
"Sorry if I'm late. I just- the girls helped me get ready and it took a lot time and- Sorry" you said slightly stuttering.  
  
"N-no it's o-ok. You're really- I mean you l-look- Y-you- Wow" he breathed out and you bit your lip, trying to keep the huge smile on your face from appearing.  
  
"Thanks" you giggled slightly.  
  
He smiled at you and then moved from the way, motioning for you to come in.  
  
"Wow" you breathed out at the sight in front of you. There were red rose petals everywhere, the lights were off but the room was well lit up by the small candles here and there, that were put in a line. The were rose petals everywhere, even in the stairs, and along with smells that the candles emitted they made you feel so relaxed. The soft music contributing to it as well.  
  
"It's beautiful" you breathed out with a smile on your face, putting  your small bag at the small table near the door.  
  
"Not as beautiful as you" Dean whispered in your ear and then kissed at your neck, as he removed your coat.   
  
He slid it off your shoulders and hanged it somewhere. He put his hands on your shoulders and you turned to look at him. You had no time to say anything, he just crashed his lips on yours. And you wasted no time in responding to the kiss with equal love.  
  
"Finally..." he whispered and brushed his thumb at your lower lip, once you both pulled away "Finally, I can do this and not feel any guilt. Not feel bad because I will hurt somebody. Finally, I can hold you, kiss you and love you and not hold back. I don't need to hold back. Finally, after so long I don't have to pretend that it doesn't kill me to be away from you. Finally, baby, I'm not forbidden to love you." he said and rested his forehead against yours.  
  
"Finally..." you whispered and closed your eyes, breathing in his scent.  
  
You both staid like that for a while, in peaceful silence. Enjoying each other's company.  
  
"How about we move to the couch and drink something before we start dinner hm?" he asked lazily and you smiled.  
  
"Sure" you looked at him with adoring gaze, as he did, and made your way to the couch.  
  
He filled two glasses with red wine and gave you one. He sat by your side and although he had a glass of his one he did not drink. He just sat there watching you, a small and lazy smile on his face.  
  
You were drinking from your glass when you saw him stare, out of the corner of your eye "What?" you asked with a small laugh, pulling the glass away.  
  
He just shrugged, the smile not leaving his face "Nothing. Just... I'm happy." he brushed your cheeks with the back of his hand.  
  
"Because of..." you trailed off.  
  
"You" he completed your sentence "I'm happy because of you, baby girl. And I could never find the right words to say how thankful I am for that... I... I love you (y/n). More than you could ever imagine" he whispered, resting his forehead against yours.  
  
You leaned into him more "I love you too, Dean." you said in a low voice and closed the little space between you.  
  
And so, after the kiss, you both started talking about anything that came to your mind. Soon the conversation drifted to what had happened months ago. To how it all started. To how you admitted your feelings. And then how you had to overcome all those obstacles, all those misunderstandings. Just so that you could, in the end, be together.  
  
"If it wasn't for your father then..." Dean sighed, shaking his head "We... wouldn't be here. Together"  
  
"Yes, but we are now. So don't think about it" you cupped his cheeks and he took hold of your other hand with both of his hands.  
  
"I was going to leave. For good." he continued as if he didn't hear you "I would be living away from you, with a woman I did not love and a child that I would believe to be mine. Living a lie because I'd feel guilty for that child. I'd be living a lie. A painful lie because I'd be away from you. Damn." he put a hand over his eyes.  
  
"Dean..." you whispered.  
  
He chuckled "Sorry baby. Talking about chick flick moments huh?" he looked at you with a smirk.  
  
You shook you head slightly "No Dean. It's not like that. It's your happiness we're talking here about" you cupped his other cheek "And I _want_  you to be happy. Because I love you" you said in a low voice.  
  
He stared for a while into your eyes "And I want you to be happy too baby. Because I love you too" he said in the same voice tone  and he did not waist a second. Closing the distance between you. The kiss was sweet and soft, and it felt just like your first one. Sweet, slow, tender and full of care and love. Dean always making sure you felt ok.   
  
You leaned back, Dean still on top of you, kissing you softly and passionately. His hands moved from your waist to your hips and then your legs. They were somewhat cold and the contact  made you gasp. Dean pulled away for a second and looked at you frowning, as if asking if he should continue. You saw the look on his face, worried because he thought he might be pushing you, but you just smiled softly and gave him a small nod. He smiled and then crashed his lips to yours, his hand not hesitating a second to move below your dress. But as soon as he touched a piece (where the long socks connected with the thing that kept them from falling) of the lingerie Caroline made you wear, he pulled away from you and you opened your eyes to see him looking at you with a stunned look on his face.  
  
"Really?" he asked a smirk making it's way onto his lips.  
  
You blushed and just shrugged a little bit "Caroline made me wear them so...yeah..." you trailed off and avoided eye contact, biting your lip nervously. Only to look back at him when you heard him chuckle.  
  
"Well remind me give her an A on biology next time" he smiled and you chuckled, feeling more comfortable.  
  
Once again he closed the distance between you, kissing from your lips down to your neck, licking and sucking at your soft spot. He pulled your legs around his waist and you groaned.  
  
"What about dinner?" you asked breathlessly.  
  
"Dinner... later..." he mumbled between kisses "Now..." he pulled away from you.  
  
"I'd much rather eat you" he smirked at you and you giggled as he picked you up from your feet and carried you upstairs to his room.  
  
Who needed dinner when they had their lovely professor, Dean Winchester, all to themselves?


End file.
